Sailor Male
by Sydlex
Summary: What if the Sailor Scouts weren’t cute junior high girls, but instead cute junior high boys. In fact, what if pretty much every girl in the series was a boy. Then you’d get this nonsense. Full summary and warnings inside. SLASH
1. Chapter 1

**Warnings:** BL, Yaoi, slash, M/M, gayness, whatever you want to call it, some swearing, mild violence, all of the characters are basically OCs, and perverted bad guys

**Disclaimer:** The concept of Sailor Moon does not belong to us, but instead to Naoko Takeuchi. We're just using the idea for this nonsense story

**Summary: **What if the Sailor Scouts weren't cute junior high girls, but instead cute junior high boys. In fact, what if pretty much every girl in the series was a boy. Then you'd get this nonsense, complete with cross-dressing superheroes, gay romance, epic showdowns with the forces of evil, and a plethora of perverts who just can't seem to resist a cute boy in drag.

**Chapter 1**

That cat talked! I swear I saw it... or heard it. And it isn't like I was just imagining things or I was super high on crack or completely and totally inebriated. That cat said a complete sentence, with consonants and vowels and conjugated verbs and a subject and an object! This sentence was completely formed inside that cat's head and somehow its underdeveloped vocal cords were able to put it into coherent speech that I was able to hear with my very own ears.

I'm pretty sure I'm not insane, or that maybe the cat just meowed and it happened to sound like it was saying something. But I guess I have no way to prove it to you, unless I explained completely what happened.

I was having a great dream where I was surrounded entirely by dumplings and yummy chocolate and I must admit it was a big pain in the ass when my mom woke me up, so I asked her for five more minutes like any normal, teenage, eighth-grade boy would do. But I accidentally fell back asleep, and by the time I woke up again, she was screaming at me to get out of bed in a rough and urgent tone.

Normally, I'd just ignore her again, but then she said something about school starting in twenty minutes and those few words caused me to leap from the bed in a fashion that only a trained expert could survive without injury, yet luck was on my side and I grabbed clothes and quickly dressed, running a brush through my increasingly long, yellow hair.

"Hurry the freak up, Seri!" she yelled frantically as I entered the kitchen, shoving a piece of toast in my mouth that almost made me choke, but I managed to force it down and grabbed my lunch box, rushing out the door after quickly pecking her on the cheek.

"Bye, mom!" I yelled.

"Don't waste time to say 'bye' when your future is at stake! Run like your life depends on it, slacker!" my big sister called from the kitchen.

I would've stuck my tongue out, but - like every other morning of my life - I was too pressed to do anything but flee in haste, praying that by some absurd stroke of luck I would make it to school in time and not have to sit out in the hall again.

But something different happened that day. As I ran as fast as my skinny legs could carry me, I noticed a bunch of little kids beating up on a poor, defenseless, black cat in a parking lot. And that made me mad, so I totally forgot about my current mission and ran to the cat's rescue.

"Hey, punks! Leave that kitty alone!" I called, waving my lunch box in a hysterical fashion. One of them turned and grinned. I did my best to look firm-but-kind.

"Make us, princess!" he said, sticking his tongue out. The other laughed obnoxiously and they continued to pull the cat's ears, making it meow in pain.

I got mad, I'll admit. I swung the box over my head and whacked the poor child across the back of his head, causing him to fall flat on his face. "There, I made you. Now buzz off, fuckers!" I said, hoping that a burst of profanity would get my message across to these wannabe-gangster sixth graders.

The one I struck started crying and quickly they ran away, leaving not a trace except the mewing feline that I had saved.

I quickly stroked its ears, smiling.

"You okay, kitty?" I cooed, playing with it for a second, and noticed a bandage on its forehead.

"Huh? What's this doing here?" I asked myself, because there was nobody else that I could've been asking except the cat, and cats can't talk... right?

I slowly pulled the bandage from its forehead to reveal a peculiar-looking scar that was shaped like a crescent moon. The weird part was that it was pure yellow, which was an unusual skin color for a cat.

"Whoa..." I murmured, not noticing how intently the cat was watching me. I brushed a finger across the mark, completely awed by the strange shape. It made me feel so nostalgic, yet I couldn't seem to place the feeling. At the exact instant the contact was made with my fingertip and the cat's forehead, it began to glow.

"Holy crap!" I yelled and quickly dropped it as a powerful force began to pulse from the small black creature. It slowly sank to the ground, staring at me and the glowing ceased, leaving a tangible cloud of static around it. I could feel my hair stand on end.

"I finally found you!" the cat exclaimed, its eyes happily closed and an adorable grin was spread across its face.

"Oh my freaking God! You can talk!" I screamed, beginning to hyperventilate and hoping I wouldn't pass out and get devoured by the alien cat whilst I was unconscious.

"Um... yes I can..." the cat mumbled, fidgeting. "Does that scare you at all?"

But I didn't even answer, I just ran away as fast as I could, praying that it's evil demonic cat friends wouldn't follow me. But nothing ever grabbed my ankle so it could feast on my poor, virgin body while I was vulnerable on the sidewalk, and I made it to the school building, panting from the strenuous morning. Only then did I realize how late I was.

Meekly, I snuck into the classroom on the far end of the first hallway while the teacher had his back turned. I almost made it to my desk before he turned around in a huff. I noticed that the entire class seemed to be watching very carefully, waiting for any scrap of entertainment that might actually give meaning to their relatively meaningless days.

"Mr. Celeste? Would you care to explain to the class why you're late to class _again_?" he asked, his voice iced with venom and I practically flinched at the malice. I quickly put on my adorable eighth-grade pretty boy face that would either make Mr. Gerund be nice to me, or give him an erection, depending on his tastes.

"Well, you see, I, um, had to save a poor cat that was being tortured and then it started talking, which altogether freaked me out so I found myself distracted, and then I realized how late I was and quickly ran to school as fast as I could! See? I'm sweating really heavy and panting and if you put your hand on my chest you can feel my heart…" I explained, only realizing how stupidly unbelievable my story sounded only after it had been told.

He looked at me for a moment without blinking, and then finally spoke, taking off his glasses and huffing angrily. "Do I look like a complete and total idiot to you, Seri? Or do you just hope I'll feel sorry for you? Get out in the hall _now_!" He yelled, throwing a piece of chalk at me, which I swiftly dodged and fled the room, hoping there would be no more dangerous projectiles.

I sat out in the hall for at least an hour, bawling my eyes out before the teacher - Mr. Gerund - finally got sick of listening to me cry and let me back into the classroom. But the second I got back into the classroom, he pulled out a quiz that I had, unfortunately, forgotten to study for.

Sadly, I horribly failed the quiz and ate my lunch in tearful silence, while I thought of how unfair life was and debated just ending it with a pen and some very stale crackers….

"Seri! What the hell are you crying for?" my best friend Naka exclaimed as he sat down and pulled out his lunch box, hungrily munching on a rice cake.

"My mom is gonna kill me!" I wailed, dramatically flopping onto my food and holding my failed, red-inked quiz up to his face.

"But it _was _a really hard quiz, Seri!" Melvin, one of my other genius friends, added. I perked up. If the school smarty got a bad score, I could use that as a defense for _my _poor score!

"Really? What'd you get, nerd?" Naka and I leaned forward, falling over ourselves in hope for his failure.

"I got a ninety percent! Can you believe it?" he wailed. Naka and I flopped onto the ground in exasperation. It figures that a nerd like him would be devastated over such a 'low' score.

I slapped him, "What the hell? That's a great score! Be proud of yourself or I swear to god I'm going to frickin beat the crap out of you!"

He blushed a vivid red, pushing his glasses further onto his face. "Sorry. I was just trying to help…."

I sighed, shoving more food in my mouth viciously. "The only way you can help is by trading me grades," I explained, half-hoping he'd agree.

He went pale, "If I had grades like yours, I think my parents would pull me into two pieces hoping it would help me do my homework."

I imagined two halves of a body doing homework, but then it got too weird, so I decided to push the image out of my mind. "Whatever, I'm just going to cry like a drowning whale and hope it works."

Naka laughed, "Yeah right. It might work if you didn't cry, like, _all the time_."

"I don't!" I huffed, but even Melvin agreed withhim. I sighed, feeling totally crushed underneath the weight of stress. And if that weren't enough, at least three guys made a pass at me.

"Hey, Seri. You sure you're a boy?" Kit Koah asked me with a grin, nudging his friends.

"Yeah, I'd go queer for a piece of THAT," another one said. I threw rotten peaches at their faces and ran away as fast as I could. Naka kept telling me how much he hated that I could probably just seduce teachers if I wanted good grades and that I was the luckiest gay boy in the world. I sighed in misery, wishing I didn't look so much like a girl.

The rest of the day passed in misery. I didn't even have the will to eat the candy that Naka stole off of Melody's desk, even though she was a total bitch and no one would've taken her side.

Mr. Gerund took pity on my soul however, and told me I could retake the quiz tomorrow in exchange for not telling the principal about him throwing chalk at me, since apparently he could get in huge trouble if I did, with chalk being all gross and easily lodged in a poor student's throat, causing immediate asphyxiation. This gave me some comfort, possibly having his job in my hands, but soon I completely forgot how much power I had over him and before I knew it, school was over.

I tried to debate the best method of begging for my life as I walked home, when I passed the arcade.

My walk slowed to a stop as I saw the absolutely gorgeous blonde man, Ricky, behind the counter. He smiled warmly to one of the little boys who seemed to be so excited he was about to pee. I looked down at the street, and imagined my mom screaming at me, and then I looked inside the arcade and imagined Ricky kissing me passionately against a game. I weighed the options mentally in my head, coming to a decision.

I walked through the doors, waving to him meekly.

"Hey, Seri," he called, "How long do you want to procrastinate today?"

I thought about it, "Well, I flunked a quiz today so I think about an hour would be sufficient." I always tried to sound witty when I was around him, although I secretly suspected he thought I was a total idiot, even though I was….

He laughed, "Seri, what are you going to do with yourself? This is the third time you've flunked a quiz this week, and it's Tuesday!"

I blushed, "It's not my fault. I just can't stay awake when I study. It's _so _boring! I want to burn it rather than read it." I tried to play with my hair flirtatiously while I spoke, but I looked more like an antsy slut than a tempting school girl/boy, which depressed me.

He thought for a moment, "Maybe you should find a study buddy?Someone to help you stay awake and talk to you while you learn?" he suggested.

My eyes grew so big I'm surprised it didn't seem to scare him in the slightest. "But who would be my study buddy? None of my friends have enough patience…." I mumbled, trying to look adorable, but probably only accomplishing a look only a pedophile would get turned on by. Hopefully Ricky was a pedophile….

"I'll ask around. I have a few friends who need a study buddy themselves," he answered with a grin.

My eyes shrank to half the size they originally were. "Oh… Well, if anyone, and I mean _anyone_ would like to be my study buddy," I said, looking at him, hoping he'd get the message, "Let me know?"

He grinned, "Definitely."

I mentally killed myself at least seven different times with different methods and virtually killed myself thirty times, most of them through vehicular suicide. I also played the new 'Sailor Venus: Ultra Action' game, which was based on the new vigilante that's been patrolling the area. Her identity is unknown, but she's really popular now! Everyone envies her beauty and grace… even me.

Eventually I vented thoroughly, and then left, waving at Ricky even though I wanted to sob and run away from his hotness. I wondered why he didn't like me, and wished I could be the person he wanted.

For a while, I walked, completely dejected and very unaware of my surroundings, until I ran into something big and heavy, falling on my ass while my backpack burst open, dropping books and papers. I rubbed my forehead in pain, then got to work gathering my things together, not noticing that the thing I had just smashed my face into had stooped down to help me. After I had put everything that was on the ground back into my backpack, I looked up to notice that a very attractive college student was reading one of my papers.

"Thank you! …Could I please have that back?" I asked in a high-pitched squeak that a boy my age should be completely unable to make.

He ignored me and continued to look at my paper. I began to truly think about how poor of a student I had become. I was such a disgrace to my parents… But I couldn't help that I just didn't have the motivation to learn the material. I really wish I had the kind of teacher that blames himself for the student's failure.

"Um…" I stumbled until I realized exactly what he was reading. It was my atrocious test and all the disgusting answers I had spewed onto it, ruining the sanctity of the educational system.

"Were you even conscious when taking this quiz?" he asked with disgust. I was still slightly in shock, and could only open and close my mouth.

He scoffed and thrust the paper into my barely open arms. I stumbled back a few steps, blinking in astonishment.

"Try studying next time, kid," he commanded in a very scary, forceful tone. I flinched from his cruelty, and then held back the tears of humiliation and defeat. I snatched the paper from his hands and stormed past him, ramming my shoulder into his to move him out of my way, though I was sure it hurt me more than it hurt him. After walking for about a block, I had managed to get over the whole ordeal.

Eventually I got home, and my mom flew to the front door.

"Hand over the quiz right now or risk immediate termination," she ordered, fire in her eyes. I gave it to her, praying she would spare my face. She looked over it. "You got _every question wrong_?" she demanded, looking like she was going to explode. Thank God my dad wasn't home. He was the one with the high-blood pressure. The paper was slowly being crushed to powder in her hands as she stared, bug-eyed, at me for an answer.

"Can I go to my room and do my homework and be grounded for two days please?" I begged.

She still looked pissed, but she also looked tired. "Make it three and we have a deal."

"And Gerund said I can retake the quiz tomorrow."

She rubbed her eyes, sighing and thinking. "If you get over an eighty percent on the quiz tomorrow, we'll forget about you being grounded. No going to the arcade though." She pointed her long, bony finger at me as she gave me my punishment. I felt like I had just saved my own life, and had never felt more relieved.

I went upstairs into my room, planning on throwing myself onto my bed in an attempt to study, but when I opened a door, there, on my bed, was the black cat with a crescent-shaped scar.

I opened my mouth to scream, but the cat rushed forward and tackled me, knocking the breath out of me. I gasped as I hit the ground with a thud, causing me even more discomfort. Its furry paws began tying my hands together behind my back. I would've yelled, but my voice was muffled due to the fact that my face was pressed against the carpet and I was still struggling to breathe. When my hands were finished, I felt a sock go around my head and tightly invade my mouth, making coherent speech completely impossible.

I tried to struggle, I really did, but adrenaline wasn't enough to fight against the mutant cat. I could only lay there helplessly as the feline finished tying me up in my own bedroom.

"Ok! Now, I have a few things to say to you, and then I'll untie you, so long as you promise not to scream your little blonde head off, ok?" the cat explained to me. It had the voice of a sexually ambiguous five-year old, and was the cutest thing I had ever seen, but fear made me unable to appreciate it. I nodded my head, though it was hard when I was smashed against the floor.

"Ok, my name is Lunde, and I am a cat sent from the moon to find Celestial Warriors that I like to call 'Sailor Scouts'. Surely you've heard of Sailor Venus?" the cat asked me.

I nodded again, whacking my forehead against the floor.  
"Good! So now I have a few things to show you. I come in peace! So don't freak out and try to kill me, ok?"

I was in too much to pain, so I grunted, hoping it would signal my assent. The cat got the message, and quickly untied me. It had used shoelaces, which miffed me because lacing shoes was tedious. When it removed the sock, I immediately started babbling.

"Oh my God! Who are you? Why are you here? What are Sailor Scouts? What do you want with me are you going to kill me I'm cause too young to die oh my God!"

The cat suddenly slapped me across the face. I felt the soft fluff, and then the sting as claws grazed against my cheek. I whirled onto the floor again, wheezing as I tried to get my breathing back on track.

"Pull yourself together!" the cat screeched, and then I help my mouth shut, not wanting the thing to claw my eyes out. "Ok, so _you_," the cat said, pointing one of its claws at me, "are the legendary Sailor Moon, descended from heaven to rid the planet of the evil Dark Moon organization," the cat explained, it's eyes narrowed in determination. "Lately, they've been creating monsters to wreak havoc on Tokyo, and the only other Scout that's been awakened is Sailor Venus. Headquarters tells me that there is another agent searching for the other Sailor Scouts, and that my duty is to release Sailor Moon!"

My eyes were practically bugging out of my head as I tried to process what that cat had said to me. Only thirty minutes ago, I never had thought I would ever have a conversation this long with an animal, no matter how insane I was!

The cat saw my appalled expression and sighed. "I guess I'm going to have to prove this to you, since obviously a talking cat isn't enough for you." Suddenly the cat jumped into the air, and with an explosion of sparkles and stars, a little wand fell onto the ground in front of my feet, with a crowned heart on the top of it. It was very… pink.

"What the hell is this?" I asked, slightly angry. "This is the tackiest thing I've ever seen in my life."

The cat smiled happily, "That is the Crescent Moon Wand! It is how you can transform into Sailor Moon!"

I stared at the adorable little monster, tired and confused. "I need to study for my make-up quiz tomorrow. I don't have time for this crap," I muttered, moving to put the wand on my bed-side table and gather my books together so I could possibly stand a chance on that evil test tomorrow.

The cat threw itself on my history book and mewed miserably. "Please hear me out! Just say 'Moon Star Action!' while you hold the wand and see what happens! Please?" the cat begged. It did its kitty cat eyes and I was a sucker for them.

Grabbing the stupid wand off of the table, I stood in the center of the room, took a deep breathe and muttered what the cat told me to say. Nothing happened.

"That was terrible! You have to say it with emotion!" the cat jeered from my bed. I glared at it.

"Talking cats shouldn't even exist, let alone tell _me _what to do!" I snapped back at it, then took another breathe.

"Moon Star Action!"

Suddenly, red streams of light began to protrude from the wand, and wrap themselves around me. I myself exploded in light, rising into the air like an invisible cord was raising me higher. The ribbons wrapped themselves around me, bursting into clothing. I felt a crown-thingy appear on my forehead, and suddenly I had earings, which made little sense because I didn't have pierced ears and they weren't clip-ons.

When everything was finished, I was lowered back to the ground, completely re-outfitted. I scrambled to the mirror I had in my room, and gasped.

"What happened to me?" I yelled, observing the clothing choice. I was in a sailor schoolgirl outfit, with a red, white, and blue color scheme. And I was wearing a mini-skirt and a tiara!

The cat let out a squeal of glee, "You _are _Sailor Moon! I was worried for a second!"

"Why am I wearing a mini-skirt? This is disgusting!" I cried in embarrassment. The cat looked just as confused as I was.

"What's the deal? You look cute!"

"What's so cute about a teenage boy wearing a girl's uniform?" I questioned in anger.

The cat's mouth opened in shock. "You're a _boy_?"

My cheeks turned red. "Yes! I'm a boy! So this costume really isn't working for me! You expect me to go fight evil with this?"

The cat examined my crotch with interest. "You must be pretty tiny! Even when I look, it doesn't look like anything's there!"

I slapped the cat off my bed, "Get out, cat!" I yelled.

"My name is _Lunde_," the cat corrected. It climbed back onto my bed, and sat down like nothing happened. Its eyes narrowed as though it were daring me to try smacking it again. I forgot about its terribly sharp claws, and sat down next to it.

"Ok, so what now?" I asked, anxious about what it had in store for me. The idea of being a super-hero was starting to sink in. I was startingto get excited. "Do I get to go kick the crap out of evil and save the day? Serving justice to the damned? Do I get to have super cool action poses and shoots laser beams out of my eyes?"

Suddenly, a cute beeping sound came from the cat, who looked at his paw, which appeared to be the source of the noise. Noticing my inquiring look, the cat explained, "It's a dark energy tracker, which is installed into every cat agent's paw at birth!"

"That sounds painful…"

"But, it's super useful! It's saved my life more than once! Right now, there's a monster that's been released nearby! It's a perfect opportunity for you to go practice!"

"M-m-monster?" I stuttered. It hit me that to be a super hero, you had to put your life on the line.

"Yes! We should go right now!"

The cat ran to the window and immediately jumped out. I lived on the second floor, so I was a little worried about it, but when I looked out, it appeared to be fine.

"Come on!" it called.

"I can't! If my parents see me in this outfit, they're going to send me to a counselor or something!" I hissed from my window, hoping the cat could hear me.

"Seri? Do you want something to eat?" my mom called from behind the door, rapping on it softly.

"Um…" I began to stutter. I needed to get rid of her, and fast, "No thank-you. I'm really tired, so I'm just going to go to bed once I'm done studying, ok?"

"What are you saying, Seri?" she asked, with way too much shock in her voice. "You don't want to… eat?"

I tried to open the window as slowly as I could, and succeeded in making no noise. "No, thanks. Good night, mom!"

Behind the door was a dull thud of something heavy falling to the floor? I flinched as I suspected in might have been my mother passing out. I haven't missed a meal once in my entire life.

I slipped past the window and began to climb down the storm drain into the soft hedges beneath my room. I had done this plenty of times, but it was only to practice in case some really hot guy wanted me to sneak out with him. So far, that hadn't happened, but I knew my practice would pay off one day.

Together, Lunde and I ran through the streets of Tokyo. He wanted to take the fastest way, but that involved walking around in front of people. He told me that my sailor outfit was a perfect disguise, and no one could possibly recognize me. I doubted that people were that stupid, but I supposed anything was possible.

We took the alleyways, and soon arrived at the place where Lunde suspected the evil was residing. Nothing was there.

"Hey…! Where's the monster?" I asked, confused. He looked just as confused as I was. We looked around. We were in a courtyard outside of an apartment building, and it was pretty slummy. I was a bit grossed out by the dead bird that was in the center of the courtyard.

"Well… This sucks! I just snuck out for nothing!"

Lunde gave me an exasperated look, but then his paw began to beep again. I span around to see a gorgeous hunk with pitch black hair standing at the exit of the courtyard. I blushed, remembering the outfit I was wearing. He smirked, with malice.

"Hello," he greeted, walking forward. Everything about him was shady, but delightfully attractive. I noticed that he had a black crescent moon tattoo on his forehead. Lunde hissed violently, causing me to jump.

"That's the dark prince, Endyre! He's the leader of the Dark Moon Clan! He's the person we're supposed to be fighting…"

"Ok!" I yelled, and got into my action pose. "I am the warrior Sailor Moon! I represent truth, justice, and love! In the name of the moon, I shall punish you!" I could feel the stars of justice shine behind me. Lunde made a gagging noise, but I ignored him. If I didn't do my little speech, I knew I was going to piss my pants from terror.

He kept walking and pushed me out of my action pose into a wall. "You're cute. But that's about it. I don't really think you'll be much of a challenge to dominate in battle… or in bed." He winked, and pressed his soft lips against mine, his warm tongue finding its way into my mouth. He smelled like cologne. I started trembling, but slapped him across the face and pushed him off.

"Get away from me, you pervert!"

He rubbed his reddening cheek, and glared at me with pure hatred. Slowly he began to walk the opposite direction, snapping his fingers, and disappearing into the night.

"Hey! That was rude! You molest me and then leave? And what's with the finger snapping? Are you retarded or something?" I yelled, but I doubt he heard me. I was about to chase after him, when Lunde called me.

"Seri, look!" Lunde motioned towards the center of the courtyard. The dead bird was growing and pulsing with dark energy, slowly turning into something that looked almost human. It stood up, its dead eyes staring at me, and it ascended into the sky.

"Oh my God!" I screamed, and began running around in circles, panicking. The bird swooped, trying to grab me with its sharp talons, but I managed to dodge it, though part of my arm got sliced by the claws. I sprang forward, doing a front flip for some strange reason.

"You have more agility and strength when you're in the sailor outfit, but it's not going to be enough to kill that weird bird-thing. You're going to have to use your tiara!"

"What?" I screamed, dodging another attack from the gross monster. For some reason, I don't think it was trying to kill me. It appeared to want to grab me. I screamed as I thought of it taking me back to its nest where it devoured me alive. I was distracted by my horrible mental image, and before I knew it, the bird was flying straight at me.

"Look out!" Lunde yelled, hiding behind a trash can. I flinched, readying myself for the pain of the talons and being carried off into the night. After a moment, I heard the bird cry out in pain, and fall onto the ground next to me. I opened my eyes to see that a rose had buried itself into the bird's back, paralyzing it momentarily. I looked up to see a man in a black outfit and a white mask standing on the roof of the apartment.

"Sailor Moon! You have been awakened, at last! The fell swoop of a poisoned rose is far more dangerous than the rough hands of violence. Cleanse the demon with your justice and love!" he called.

My eyes grew ten times their original size, a new record. "Who are you…?" I asked.

"I am Tuxedo Mask! The masked defender!" he replied, and disappeared by nothing more than the light of the moon.

"Seri, to use your tiara, just say 'Moon Tiara Action!'" Lunde instructed.

I nodded, taking off the tiara. Suddenly, it began to glow. The monster started to move, making pathetic screeches. I spun around to get momentum. "Moon Tiara Action!" I called, and hurled the hot disk at the monster. It sliced through its decaying body, and it let out a cry as it dissolved.

"Lovely!" it screamed, before its entire body vanished into the ground, leaving only the dead bird behind. I nearly passed out, but Lunde slapped me across the face again. I spat out a little tuft of hair, and we began to walk home. The streets were dark, but much less frightening than they had been before I narrowly avoided death from the cursed corpse of a pigeon.

"So am I going to have to do this every night?" I asked, sighing wearily.

Lunde just mewed cutely. "I hope so! That was fun!"

"You hid behind a trash can the whole time! I was almost devoured by a gross bird monster!"

"Yeah, but it was _awesome_! And you got to make-out with a hot bad guy! And some weird guy called you a poisonous rose! You don't think that was the coolest night ever?"

I froze as I came to a horrible realization.

"THAT WAS MY FIRST KISS!" I screamed, nearly tearing out two handfuls of my hair. "There goes my innocence! And my youth! And all those daydreams I spent planning the perfect kiss, and he stole it from me!"

"Calm down! It was just a kiss!"

"But he shoved his tongue in my mouth!"

"Oh my God!" Lunde gasped. We both hugged each other and cried for my wasted first kiss. Suddenly, the sailor suit disappeared, leaving me back in my original outfit.

"Oh, I forgot to explain. The suit lasts until you don't need it anymore, or if you experience a severe physical blow. Like, if you fall off a cliff, the suit sacrifices itself to save you, but you're not going to be able to transform for a while."

I nodded, wondering where in Japan I was going to fall off a cliff, but glad I wouldn't die from it. I climbed back up into my window behind my house, making sure nobody was watching. Lunde followed. I tried to find a way to figure out how I would convince my parents to let me keep him, but I was much too tired for that, so I fell into my bed, Lunde cuddling up beside me.

"Goodnight, Seri… You did a good job today…" he sighed, yawning. I wrapped my arms around him, enjoying his warmth and his soft fur, and fell asleep almost immediately.

It had been a long day.

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**If you managed to make it through the first chapter, a review would be much appreciated. All kind of comments are welcome, even constructive criticism and flames.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Much thanks to Iona and James Birdsong for the reviews. It made me really happy to read them. And yes, Iona, the bad guys will be new characters. There won't be that many of them though.**

**Warnings:** BL, Yaoi, slash, M/M, gayness, whatever you want to call it, some swearing, mild violence, all of the characters are basically OCs, and apparently it isn't just bad guys who are perverted, it's everyone

**Disclaimer:** The concept of Sailor Moon does not belong to us, but instead to Naoko Takeuchi. We're just using the idea for this nonsense story

**Chapter 2**

"Ricky, observe the newest genius that set foot in this cheap arcade!" I exclaimed, holding my test up to his face. It was a masterpiece, with just a hint of red ink on it to give it depth, but the pencil marks left untainted for the most part, creating a fantastic depiction of my absolute brilliance. The gorgeous '87%' scrawled across the top like a crown. Ricky's eyes dilated slightly as he tried to look at the test when it was so close to his face.

"Oh wow, Seri. You actually got a B. That's pretty crazy," he said, his face un-amused. My excited expression fell down my face into a shocked, hurt look. I suddenly wondered if I got on his nerves, and if he even realized I was just kidding.

"I'm sorry! I'm not actually a genius! I just got Melvin to give me practically all of the answers through Morse code!" I wailed, hoping he wouldn't punch me for being so annoying. He stared at me for a few seconds.

"You know Morse code yet you flunk all of your tests except for the ones you cheat on? Why didn't you just study last night?" he asked, now less tense, almost relaxed and back to normal. I wondered if he hated having things shoved in his face or something.

"I learned it at summer camp, ok? And I went… out," I muttered, cursing myself for not coming up with a better excuse. He raised his eyebrows, snatching my paper. "Hey! Give that back!"

"What were you up to, little Seri? Tell me or this '87%' gets obliterated before your mother can even see it," he held it above my head, and sadly I was way too small to even come close to getting it. I debated punching him in the crotch, but a half-lie came to me in just the nick of time.

"I snuck out, ok?" I wailed, jumping for my paper like a trained puppy. Ricky was so cruel, he actually laughed as I whined, trying desperately to get my test back.

"What did you do while you were out, huh? I think Seri was a little slut last night. Am I right?" he teased, his voice a bit rougher than usual. I scratched his chest, suddenly ruffled.

"You pervert! I'm not a slut! I was out with friends and I didn't do anything dirty at all!" I yelled, then suddenly the image of me pressed against the wall with a dark stranger's tongue rubbing against mine flashed through my mind and I froze, my hair standing on edge and my face turning bright red, my eyes widening. He didn't seem to notice, and his attention strayed to the clanging sound the door made as it opened.

"Darren! I'd like you to meet your new study buddy!" Ricky exclaimed, making an elaborate hand motion in my direction like I was a prize or something, but the way Darren's face suddenly turned red, his eyes narrowing and overall looking like a constipated college student, made me think that I was a burden, not a prize.

He looked familiar, so I inspected him briefly while he yelled at Ricky, who yelled back. The gears in my brain churned slowly as they argued; their voices completely tuned out while I concentrated. He had pitch black hair, so shiny it was practically blinding. I could see him being very anal about how he styled it, also. He was really tall, even taller than Ricky, and was average, but I couldn't see the full extent of his muscled bod as he was wearing a rather comfortable green sweater and khakis. He was pale, and before I could even figure out who he was, I had already decided that he was extremely attractive.

My eyes widened as his face clicked, and I pointed my finger. "You're the ass who crushed my poor high school dreams yesterday!" I screeched, passion sounding in my voice. They both looked up from their argument, shocked. Then Darren understood what I was talking about.

"With grades like those, I don't think you even have time to dream. You really should be studying, kid," he countered with a smug look on his face. I wanted to shove his face into an open circuit, but I knew he was way too big for a tiny boy to overpower him. I shot him my meanest death glare instead, hoping his could feel the intensity of my hatred for him. He didn't even notice.

"Wait. Is this the kid you were talking about yesterday with the shitty test score? Hmm… I wonder why I didn't make that connection earlier," Ricky muttered. I felt like I was being verbally attacked from every direction, and felt the tears begin to well up in my eyes.

"So anyway, Darren here has a problem staying awake, and you have a problem with everything, so I thought you could keep him up – in a totally non-sexual way – and he'd help you study," Ricky explained. By then, the tears began falling.

"You bastards," I croaked through the tears, and ran through the doors, ignoring them completely. I ran for a few blocks, sobbing dramatically, ignoring the weird looks people were giving me, until I ran into someone. Falling to the ground, I cursed my luck for constantly running into people whenever I left the arcade, but was thankful that this time my backpack didn't burst open so jerks could mock me about how challenged I was.

This time, the person I ran into was around the same size as me, though a little taller. I opened my eyes, rubbing my head, letting the blurred image of a person focus.

"Aime?" I mumbled, recognizing the person almost immediately. It was a boy from my class who was known for being a genius. He got the top scores for every test we took, but never bragged about it. I knew he was nice, but he never said anything. He just stared off into space for the most part. He was also very petite, and looked like a schoolgirl, so I could sympathize with him there. He picked up his glasses and pushed them back onto his face, though I knew that sometimes he chose to wear contacts instead.

He rubbed his head also, his blue-toned hair glistening in the sun. He looked up, in answer to his name, and gave me a concerned look. "Are you ok? Sorry, I should've been paying attention to where I was going," he muttered.

"Yeah, I was the one hauling ass," I sighed, wiping the tears from my eyes, and looked up to see the building he was leaving. "You go to cram school?" I shouted, completely appalled, "But you never get an answer wrong! Ever! Out of all the people in our school who should never even look at cram schools, you're definitely one of them!"

He blushed, "Because there's still so much more for me to learn, and I don't get _every_ answer right."

Suddenly, I noticed Lunde running from the distance. "Seri!" he shouted. Aime turned around, suddenly, and I got up quickly, wondering what could be going on.

Suddenly, a window blew out from above us, and I quickly rushed to grab Aime and pull him out of the way of the falling glass. I suddenly realized I didn't have any grace, but managed to get us out of the way in just the nick of time. Aime let out a cry of terror as something enormous landed on the sidewalk, on top of the glass that had just threatened to kill us. It was something monstrous, but I pulled us into an alleyway before I could completely get a look at it. I realized I needed to transform right there.

Lunde followed. "Seri! Turn into Sailor Moon!" he yelled, desperate. People started screaming, and I knew there wasn't much time.

"Why is that cat talking? What's going on?" Aime yelled, looking scared out of his mind. Lunde's moon started to glow when Aime spoke, and he and I both looked at Aime with shock. But before I could even process that, I transformed.

"Moon Star Action!" I shouted, holding the wand in the air. I was thankful I had remembered to put it in my sweatshirt pocket. Suddenly, the flares of color flew out of the wand, and I began to transform again. I wondered what would happen with Aime after this, as I was pretty sure it was bad that he knew I was a celestial warrior, especially since I wasn't even completely used to it myself.

I darted out of the alleyway, and got into my ready stance, prepared to fight. The monster was huge, and I immediately knew it was the work of Endyre. It looked like it was made out of the pages of a book, everything folded and twisted to form the shape of a body, and it had an armor that looked like the hardback cover. At first, I thought it would be easy, until it shot its arm out at me, and I barely dodged in time before it brushed my cheek, easily slicing through the skin.

I did a back flip, but was surprised when I landed and a pair of arms grabbed me, trapping me against a body much larger than mine. I struggled, but heard a deep, evil chuckle, and realized who I was pressed against.

"Ah! Let go of me, you horrible pervert!" I shouted, but he just squeezed tighter against my struggles. "What are you doing?"

"Struggling is useless against my power. You should rethink what you say to me, also. I can make that monster over there kill you at any moment."

I eyed the monster nervously. It seemed frozen, but still dangerous. "What do you want from me, anyway?"

He seemed pleased at my question, as I gave him another chance to talk. I swear he loved to hear his own voice. "You see, Sailor Moon, I am in dire need of your power, and since you're only using it to make my life more difficult, I thought I'd just take it off of your hands," he said, lightly touching the pendant on my chest that I presumed was the wand, embedded in my outfit. "And it might be easier if I just took you with me," he murmured, gently pressing his lips against my neck. I started trembling, wondering what I should do. The monster stood ominously, as though ready to chop my head off at the slightest twitch.

I braced myself for whatever he had planned, when suddenly I heard a voice ring out. "Mercury Power Activate!" Blue light shone out of the alleyway I had just left, and suddenly Aime ran out, clad in the same outfit I was in, just blue oriented. His eyes shone with determination.

"Sailor Mercury! Use your bubble spray attack! Now!" Lunde shouted, following close behind. Suddenly, Aime pulled out his wand, and held it above his head.

"Bubble Spray!" he yelled, and suddenly a charge of blue light burst from the top. He aimed it towards the monster, and an explosion of bubbles flew from it, exploding around every inch of the paper monster and freezing instantly. Aime ran and did a roundhouse kick, shattering the monster into pieces. All of this was done in less than five seconds and I was watching wide-eyed the whole time. The dark energy short-circuited and the frozen pieces of monster suddenly turned into pieces of paper and book cover, which fluttered to the ground quietly.

I felt something whizz past my ear, and heard a grunt behind me, the arms encompassing me relaxing their iron grip. I quickly broke free, running towards Lunde and Aime. I span around, grabbing my tiara, seeing a rose had embedded itself in Endyre's shoulder. "Moon Tiara Action!" I yelled, hurling the burning disk at the evil prince. It pushed him back several feet as he quickly blocked it with a shield of dark energy. Once the disk span out, disappearing and reappearing back on my head, he fell on his knees, panting, looking at me and Aime, and presumably Tuxedo mask behind us.

"I'll be back, fools," he growled, and melted into the setting sun. After a moment's pause, everyone who had been hiding behind cars and inside buildings began to venture their way back into the streets and started clapping and cheering.

"Yay! Sailor Venus! Sailor Mercury!" they cheered. My face turned bright red, and I quickly stomped my foot on the sidewalk.

"It's Sailor Moon! And don't forget it!" I yelled, and dragged Aime off with me, forgetting about Tuxedo Mask for a second as I furiously wondered why they confused me with Sailor Venus, then realized she also had blonde hair and a similar outfit to mine, just more orange.

"Sailor Moon!" Tuxedo Mask yelled from behind me. I froze, and span around, feeling ashamed to have forgotten my handsome rescuer. "The patience of water can conquer even the largest of stones. And it is the moon that controls the tides! Excellent work, warriors of justice and love!" he spouted. My smile was planted on my face the whole time, but underneath I was desperately trying to figure out what he was trying to say to me. Aime nodded his head, and I did the same, though my inner hamster wheel was spinning furiously with confusion.

Tuxedo mask bowed, and then disappeared into the rising moon behind him. I suddenly wondered how the hell everyone always managed to find the perfect lighting situations to make their exit, but quickly lost that thought when I realized my anti-social classmate just revealed himself as one of the other sailor warriors, and saved my ass with awesome bubbles of death.

I turned to speak to Lunde, but he motioned towards the various people standing in the street, looking at us contentedly. Thankfully, nobody in the crowd seemed to notice who I was, and I ran off with Aime, letting Lunde trail behind.

After Lunde and I had pulled Aime into a more secluded place and explained our situation to him, he nodded. "Ok, I believe you. But why is it that Seri and I can hear Lunde, but nobody else can?"

"Only the chosen can hear what I have to say…" Lunde replied quizzically.

I slapped him upside his kitten head. "You can say something a bit less evasive, you know."

"Ok, ok…" Lunde mumbled, rubbing his scalp. "Sailor scouts can hear us, but no one else. Easy?"

By then we were in front of my house and it was getting pretty late. "Do you live close by, Aime? I can have my mommy give you a ride," I suggested, but Aime shook his head, smiling.

"I only live a few blocks from my cram school. Lucky we're in walking distance of each other, huh?" he asked, winking. I froze, realizing at that instant how pretty Aime was, with his blue hair and large blue eyes. Blue was definitely his color, and I envied how he seemed to be slightly thinner than me. I wondered if he was harassed for his looks as much as I was.

"Ok, Aime!" Lunde shouted, climbing on top of my dumpster behind our house and sitting up straight. "Now that you are a sailor scout, you must adhere to the code and promise to become a full-time part of our demonic extermination squad! If you don't…" Lunde raised a razor-sharp claw, "Nasty stuff will happen."

"Wanna meet up after school tomorrow?" I piped in once Lunde had finished his ridiculous spiel. Aime smiled, Lunde's threat ignored. "Of course! See you at school!" With the light of the moon,

his outfit vanished into thin air as he ran in the opposite direction. Lunde nibbled on my skirt as I watched, discreetly trying to pull it up to be mean.

"Go cat!" some college boys cat-called from the sidewalk. Lunde giggled and I freaked out, smacking him away and then running at the punks, waving my fists in the air, forgetting I was still dressed as a girl and probably looked exactly like one.

"Hey! Fuck off!" I shouted, then tripped and fell flat on my face, my skirt hiking up and surely giving the whole neighborhood a view of my lacy panties that came with the sailor ensemble. They whistled, but most of them walked off, till I heard one boy walk up behind me and pause while I lied there, dazed and embarrassed, but in too much pain to get back up. I felt a pair of arms wrap around my waist and pull me up to a standing position.

"There you go," he said, smiling, his cheeks flushed red almost as much as mine were. His arms released me, though almost unwillingly. "So what's a cute little boy like you doing out this late at night?" he asked conversationally. My vision was still blurred, and I could only make out that he had black hair.

"What? I'm not a boy!" I shouted once the words decided to cooperate with me and the ground stayed firmly under my feet. He chuckled, and it was then that my vision cleared and I realized I was talking to the last person I would ever want to talk to in the history of all mankind and all of its assholes. It was Darren, and I quickly backed away until I remembered that he had seen me in drag and didn't seem to know who I was.

"Yes, most people would believe that. But I'm more observant than them. You're wearing underwear that's a bit too risky to hide what you're packing." He was grinning, his smile embarrassed yet completely playful. His cheeks were still almost as red as mine, and I realized that he was pushing his guts to the limits right now.

"Hey, I didn't choose this outfit, ok? And what are you even doing here?" I tried to punch him, but he grabbed my arm, his face flushing even deeper, and I almost betrayed myself and thought he was really cute for a moment.

"I'm going to a get-together with some of my buddies. I live down the street in the apartment complex there. I'm a sophomore in college and I think you look fantastic in a skirt," he rambled, and then kissed me out of nowhere. For once, I didn't try to push him off immediately, mostly because I was so shocked and he was warm and I was dazed and the stars were twinkling a bit too bright and there was no sign of Lunde to put in his two-cents worth. I wrapped my arms around him as our mouths moved together and closed my eyes, savoring the moment until a couple of his friends whistled from down the street, probably having watched the whole exchange.

I broke free and ran to my house, not letting him say good-bye, and threw open the door. Instantly, when I stepped through the doorway my outfit disappeared and I span around, trying to close the door as quickly as possible and seeing his face again, watching me from the sidewalk, an eerie expression on it as he probably tried to synthesize in his mind was he was seeing. Then the door cut me off from view and I slumped to the floor, panting and cursing the day I was born.

"Seri? You're back awfully late. Did you get your homework done at Naka's house?" my mom asked, cradling the black menace in her arms. "I found Lunde on your windowsill." She had adopted Lunde once I showed the bastard to her that morning.

I didn't question why she thought I went to Naka's house and just took Lunde from her arms, giving her a kiss. "Yeah, I did my homework. And I got a B on my test!"

"You told me already on the phone? Remember? Can I see it, please?"

"Wha-" I stuttered when Lunde surreptitiously clawed me, causing me to jump. I immediately made the connection that Lunde did something weird, handed my mother the test and ran up to my room as she jumped for joy, running into the living room to show it to my sister.

"Your brother isn't a complete failure!" she shouted happily, her voice carrying up the stairs.

"He probably cheated." My sister's voice also carried, but was much harder to hear. And the resulting pause and then my mother quipping, "That can't be true!" made me want to cry and I fled into my bedroom.

"God, Seri. You're going to need to realize I have a lot of power over the human mind. How else am I able to disguise my voice from people, or put a charm on your suit that disables people from making a connection between you and Sailor Moon? Implanting a fake phone call into your family's mind was much too easy. And I went ahead and started your homework while you were eating face with your boyfriend out there."

"He's not my boyfriend! I hate him! He means nothing to me and I was simply weak for a moment and it won't happen again _ever_!"

"You could've fooled me." Lunde sat down on my desk next to my assignment, which was just some math that I decided I had the motivation to do as I was way too mad to do anything else, let alone sleep. I resisted the urge to smack the kitten and instead let Lunde explain the problems to me patiently as I managed to trudge through it. Math made little sense to me, but it actually was a bit clearer with my adorable kitten tutor sitting right next to me.

"Wait, so there's a charm on my suit?" I questioned, finally understanding why Darren couldn't tell who I was. I thought it was just the dim light that was blurring his vision. Though he did still know I was a boy, despite everything.

Suddenly I jumped up before Lunde could answer my question and made an exclamation. "Darren is gay! He's gay and he molested me and now I'm attracting bizarre men and I don't know what to do!"

Lunde slapped my across the face, put my finished assignment into my backpack, led my sniffling self to my bed with his tail and gently tucked me in, licking me on the cheek, turning off the lights and curling up next to me. "Sleep and you can freak out in the morning," he mumbled, letting sleep take him. I sniveled for a few minutes, and then rolled over, hugging Lunde like a teddy bear.

I began to surrender myself to the darkness of unconsciousness just as a shadow appeared in the light streaming through my window. "In the name of the Moon…" I mumbled sleepily, all worries waiting for me the next morning and the shadow outside my window forgotten and still.

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**Again, please review. Feel free to point out any mistakes I made, whether they be spelling or grammer, or just tell me what you thought. **


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer:** The concept of Sailor Moon still does not belong to us. If it did, it probably would be more like this.

**Chapter 3**

I could tell immediately that Naka wasn't going to accept Aime immediately, though Melvin seemed completely overjoyed by the additional member of our cute little team of friends.

"Hey, we're going to the arcade together today, ok?" Naka commanded at lunch time as we sat in the grass, eating our lunches. I wondered where Aime was, and hadn't seen him all day, though I hadn't expected to because he was in a different class.

"Um… Ok, but can we take Aime Messenger with us? And Melvin, you wanna come to?" I asked casually, hoping Naka would shut up and let things be.

"What? Since when do you hang out with Aime? He's a total freakazoid! You hoping some of his magical intelligence will rub off on you or something? Because don't forget that we have Melvin and even though he's a dork, too, at least he helps you out. We don't need Aime."

"Hey…! I'm not a dork! Seri, am I a dork?" Melvin munched on his peanut butter rice cake, which looked disgusting but still strangely appetizing.

"Yes, but in a good way," I offered, then turned back to Naka. "Aime is really cool and he's going to join us at the arcade. The only reason he's not here for lunch is because he's not outside!" I glared at Naka, who glared back, but then we both shrugged and ate our shrimp, both in harmony again. We really were just a bit too similar to argue for long. Almost as if on cue to our current excess of peace, Aime walked outside of his classroom building, his lunchbox behind him and his blue uniform making his unique hair shine even brighter in the afternoon light. A lot of the boys' heads turned as they watched him pass by, and even I had to admit that he looked quite vibrant.

"Aime! Come eat lunch with us!" I shouted. He turned, smiling to see us, and walked over, almost shyly.

"Are you sure? Am I intruding?"

"Just sit down and eat your fucking lunch," Naka snapped and Aime instantly fell to the ground beside me, blushing furiously. Naka and I had a squabble while Melvin and Aime chatted about physics and we all had a pretty fabulous time until the bell rang and separated us. I told Aime of our plans for the afternoon and he quickly agreed, informing me that he didn't have cram school anyway because the building was under repairs. And he was off on Fridays so he could probably hang out the next day also.

We went to our respective classes and stared at the clock, giving it mental death threats until the bell rang and released us from our prison.

"Seri Celeste?" Mr. Gerund called from his desk, "Would you stay behind for a moment?" I froze in front of the door, debating making a mad dash for freedom, but instead asked Melvin and Naka to go and find Aime and wait outside the classroom for me.

"Seri," he murmured, taking off his glasses as I approached his desk, "I noticed you talking to Mr. Messenger at lunch today from my window. As you probably know, he is the star student of this school and you are… not."

"Hey!"

Mr. Gerund held up a hand to my protests and stood up, walking around his desk to stand in front of me, his tall, built form menacing when I compared it to my frail, short one. "You're a slacker, but your grades have been improving. If I find out that you are cheating off of Mr. Messenger, nasty things will happen. You're much too distracting and obnoxious, Seri," he stated, my first name sounding sour in his mouth.

"What? No way! I'd never use someone like that! Aime is my friend! I'll be friends with whoever I want!" I stormed towards the door, but Mr. Gerund stood in front of me, a strange look in his eyes.

"You've got spunk, kid," he muttered, touching my chin softly with his fingertips. I shuddered, but in a flash he was seated back at his desk, enthralled by the papers he was grading. "You may leave now."

I took a deep breath, trying to regain control of my foggy mind and left the room quietly. Naka scoffed as I exited, the others waiting next to him patiently.

"What did you do this time?"

"Nothing. He was pumping me for any signs of cheating because I got a full-score on my math paper and he's suspicious."

"Well, of course he is. How did you do so well on the math assignment? We know you cheated off of Melvin yesterday, so don't claim that you're above using questionable methods to get your paper done," Naka mocked me. Luckily, I'm so good-natured I can take this much harassment in a week, so I just led the way towards the arcade.

"I'm a genius in hiding, that's all," I responded bitchily, knowing Naka wouldn't believe me, which he didn't, but left the conversation at that. Eventually, he and Melvin start chatting about some teen idol. Aime informed us that he didn't get to watch TV very often, and we had to gasp at his horrible lack of teen culture. We immediately stopped at the manga shop on the way to the arcade and bought him a few volumes of our favorite action adventure. I stopped to pick up the new "Pretty Sailor Senshi: Venus". The store clerk told us when we went to buy it that he heard word that there was going to be manga based on the other sailors soon, due to their recent appearance.

After we successfully converted Aime to a more acceptable lifestyle, we ran to the arcade, the hot sun beating down on us. I was thankful I had changed into normal clothes before I left school otherwise I'd be dying in my uniform. Everyone else did, to, and Aime was wearing all blue, maybe subconsciously still excited for his new calling in life. I was a bit anxious, and hoped there would be no monsters today, but there was no sign of Lunde, and I figured he'd show up if there was a threat.

We strolled through the doors, Ricky standing at the front counter as usual. I blushed, remembering my dramatic exit the previous day and hoped he wouldn't call me on it. Instead, he gave me a strange look, but there was little time for talking as a few other people were playing today and I hoped no one would hog the fun games.

"Hey, Ricky. Wanna hook us up with some tokens?" I asked casually, giving him some money and the cutest face I could muster while being nervous. He grinned mercilessly, obvious hidden words behind his pearly whites, but gave me extra tokens because I'm such a cutie and Naka was staring him down, and it was impossible to refuse Naka.

"Still think I'm a bastard?" he asked, dangling the rolls of coins above my head once again.

"Of _course _not. Ricky is a wonderful, handsome man who would never be cruel to a poor little child like me." I smiled coyly, fluttering my eyelashes. He seemed a bit shocked and I snatched the coins, fleeing to the games that were crying my name longingly after distributing the coins among my friends.

"Aime, I challenge you to a game of Ultimate Death Racer!" I proclaimed, dragging him to the respective game system.

"That's not fair, Seri. You know Aime doesn't get out much." Naka gave Aime a sympathetic look, but went off to play against Melvin in a game of Boxing Homicide. Aime nervously pulled up a seat next to me, and I slipped in the tokens, revving my engines happily and familiarly. I was at home behind the fake wheel, and had confidence I'd beat the poor newbie next to me. Aime readied himself, clearly not experienced and having not much of an idea of what to do.

"Go easy on me, would you?" Aime requested, and I complied with a smug nod and smile. The race started and we took off, my driving skills coming into play and the grainy screeching of tires filling the air for a moment before Aime and I glued our eyes to the screen in intense concentration.

After a moment of racing, I was in first and Aime was in second. I nervously began to realize he was better than I thought, and that something was seriously wrong. His car didn't move a fraction of a centimeter, and he kept perfectly to the turns, passing almost as quickly as I had passed the other computerized cars.

"Wah!" I yelled, swerving to keep up with him, but immediately he took off with his speed-up, leaving an oil slick behind that caused me to swerve and smash into a tree. By the time I got back on the road, I only was able to pass the computers and take second. I cried hysterically once I finished the race. Aime gave me a comforting pat on the shoulder.

"I'm pretty good at employing strategy… Sorry." I looked up, and realized that he had beaten my high score by almost ten seconds, and I didn't think I would ever be able to claim it again. I heard obnoxious laughter behind me, and looked around to see another teenager, not much older than me, laughing hysterically at my utter loss.

"That was an epic fail," the boy muttered. I had to resist laughing at his attire. He was clad in some strange, fish-net, chained, leather punk outfit and he had a lip ring, several studs in his ear, a bizarre rattail in his black hair, and a black jacket. He looked truly bizarre, but not unattractive. In fact, for wearing such a feminine outfit, he was actually at least a foot taller than me and was lean, but pretty strong looking.

"Who the hell are _you_?" I asked rudely, folding my arms across my chest and glaring at him. He ignored me and instead walked closer to us.

He gave Aime a sweet look, who blushed. "Mind if I try?" he asked, working his voice to sound just a bit deeper and more like velvet, but still with a bit of force. Aime didn't have the spine to resist, and ran off to watch Naka beat the shit out of Melvin in the confines of their game. The strange boy sat next to me, throwing tokens into the slot and choosing his car.

"You didn't answer my question." I gave him a pissy look but was secretly excited to show him up in this game. Aime was really smart so of course he'd beat me, but this boy didn't look too special and I had confidence I would leave him behind to soak up his own shame.

"Ray Aro." He flashed me a smile, looking pretty badass behind the wheel. I gulped, and muttered my name, focusing on the screen and readying myself for the start of the race. He laughed at my name, but accidentally missed the 'GO' and was a bit late in starting. "Shit!"

I laughed, but he quickly gained on me, and we both narrowed our eyes in concentration, eventually side by side on the road. He tried to shove me into various obstacles, but I held my ground and stayed slightly in front of him. We were about to finish the race, with me just far enough to win and no way to mess me up, when suddenly a pair of warm hands covered my eyes. I was surprised and jerked my hands in the wrong direction.

"Ah!" I shouted, swerving and hearing the horrific sound of my demise inside the video game. Ray laughed as he undoubtedly won, but all I could do was tear the hands from my face and twist around, expecting to see the smug, mischievous face of Naka but instead seeing the amused, smug face of Darren. My face paled, then flushed again and I tried to lunge at him. "You're a bastard! How could you do that! I was going to win!" I roared, trying to punch him, but he just grabbed my thin arms and held them firmly in place, not even allowing me to pull away, while he and Ray laughed at me cruelly.

"It's just a game, twerp," Darren mocked, and I wanted desperately to hit him, mostly because of the kiss-thing that happened the previous night, though he didn't seem to have made the connection between Sailor Moon and I. Sadly, I wasn't able to gain any leeway and could only struggle against his firm grip.

"I hate you, Darren!" I glared furiously, and his smile vanished for a second as he almost seemed to detect the double-meaning in the words I had just uttered. There was an awkward silence as Ray continued to laugh until he realized the joke was no longer funny.

"Darren, is it? Thanks for helping me out." He winked at Darren, almost looking flirtatious. I only knew this because I was also an amateur at flirting and knew that he was an expert. Darren didn't notice, however. He just smirked at me in order to recover from our exchange of dialogue. Ray obviously felt uncomfortable as I steamed and Darren smiled. "Oh, I get it. You two are dating, huh?"

"What?" I screamed, ripping free of Darren and throwing myself in the direction of Ray, my face a few inches in front of his. "I _hate _that jerk! He's only mean to me and plays tricks on me and doesn't even like me. We are _not _going out. I'd never date anyone like that! Ever!"

Darren's face was expressionless. "Yes, my sentiments exactly." I turned to glare at him, so pissed off I thought I was going to blow up like some sick, meaty piñata, and stormed away. Ray was about to say something, probably to insult me, but Darren instantly looked up, focused, his hair standing on end and ran out the doors, waving at Ricky and saying he forgot something at home.

I watched, incredulous. I wanted to shout mean things at him, and hurl myself into an incinerator to just end my miserable life of mockery, but Naka let out a battle cry that immediately caught my interest. I began to stroll over to their area of the arcade, several people having left besides Ray and my other friends, who were focused on various games of violence and skill.

I saw a screen flicker out of the corner of my eye, and immediately tensed, jumping back as a spike shot out of a screen directly at me, narrowly missing and burying itself into the wall. I watched for a moment with disgust as the wall began to darken and rot. Naka shrieked and pulled Melvin towards the door. I was thankful they fled, but Ricky yelled and ran at Endyre just as he slowly crawled through the screen, his black hair shimmering in the afternoon light.

Before Ricky could really say or think anything, Endyre had shot a small beam of dark energy at him that hurled him across the room and into the wall where he slumped to the floor. I winced at his pain, but my attention was quickly diverted as Endyre began his evil laugh.

"Fools! Where is Sailor Moon?" he yelled, suspended in midair with the electricity pulsing from his fingertips dangerously. I breathed a sigh of relief as he didn't seem to recognize me despite his intense power. I had to give Lunde some credit for his excellent magic.

"Sailor Moon? What are you talking about?" Ray asked, his voice shaking but still just as sassy as usual. He and Aime were backed against a corner and I saw no opportunity to get away and transform into Sailor Moon. Aime gave me a pointed look, mouthing the word 'distraction' but I shook my head furiously, too frightened to do anything of importance.

Endyre frowned due to frustration, seeming almost disappointed that Sailor Moon (who happened to be standing right in front of him) was nowhere to be found. "I could've sworn I detected the presence of Sailor Moon here. Maybe if I kill you people, Sailor Moon will come to seek revenge?" he thought out loud. Ray blanched and made a run for the door.

"Ray!" I shouted, but it was too late. Endyre charged the ball of energy in his hand and was readying himself to hurl it at Ray. I closed my eyes, but the familiar sound of something whizzing through the air and burying itself in Endyre's shoulder, followed by his grunt of pain, rang through the air.

"To hurt an innocent in order to satisfy one's own selfish purposes is the worst crime imaginable!" Tuxedo mask declared from behind the window and smiled as he walked through the glass, his body seeming almost like gas for an instant. Both Endyre and I had shocked expressions on our faces at Tuxedo Mask's new power, but Endyre was slumped on the ground, paralyzed once again. Tuxedo Mask looked directly at me for a second, Ray whimpering on the floor, and Aime's eyes darting between us. Endyre wasn't speaking except for his labored breathing as he tried desperately to move.

"Now would be a good time to leave," Tuxedo Mask stated, his mask covering most of his expression, but his eyes seeming almost desperate. I stared for a bit longer, the words refusing to assemble themselves correctly in my mind. Aime quickly ran over and grabbed my arm along with Ray's and dragged us towards the bathroom. I was amazed at the enhanced effect the rose seemed to have on Endyre and wondered if Tuxedo Mask had been training hard or something.

The bathroom door swung open and Aime quickly pulled out his wand. "Seri, pay attention," he snapped, looking irritated for the first time since we'd met. Ray was on the floor completely in shock, and Lunde suddenly climbed through the window, falling to the ground gracefully.

"I was wondering where I was going to meet you guys! And what an unclean bathroom..." Lunde muttered, his tail swishing through the air. Ray's eyes widened even more and he started babbling, pointing at Lunde in utter horror.

"What the fuck is going on?" he shouted, his already unstable psyche seeming totally shattered.

"Transform, guys! I'll deal with this guy and send him out shortly!" Lunde growled as his moon started glowing.

"Moon Star Action!"

"Mercury Power Activate!"

The energy coils swirled from the wands and wrapped around us, transforming us in only a few seconds before we drifted back to the ground softly as the final pieces of our outfits assembled themselves. Before I could judge Ray's reaction we dashed from the room, finding Endyre and Tuxedo Mask fighting viciously, Tuxedo Mask armed with his cane and Endyre armed with his dark energy. Before even thinking, I grabbed my tiara, spinning and screaming "Moon Tiara Action!"

Luckily, Endyre was too distracted to realize what I just threw at him before it was too late and he was thrown across the room, his dark energy still too powerful for my feeble magic to slice through. Tuxedo Mask slumped to the ground behind us as Endyre's eyes snapped open. Endyre quickly stood up. The bruises across his face were dark but quickly fading. He glared at me. "Sailor Moon! Why do you insist on being such a nuisance?"

"Shut up!" I screeched. "I don't talk to perverts! Molesting poor, innocent kids is just sick! And, in the name of the Moon, I shall punish you!" Aime grabbed his wand and shot a spray of bubbles at Endyre, who quickly dodged them and snapped his fingers, evaporating into the wall. I turned to see if Tuxedo Mask was going to say something confusing, yet strangely inspiring again, but he had vanished. I whined for a second, but before I could complain about his lack of farewell, a burst of electricity shot out of one of the game systems directly into my back. I slumped to the ground, my limbs numb and my vision blurry.

"Seri!" Aime shouted, but he was suddenly preoccupied with fighting the monster that I could no longer see because I was lying prostrate on the ground, confused and dazed. Thankfully, the voltage was about the equivalent of a stun-gun and I knew I would be able to move in just a couple minutes, but I wondered how well Aime was going to fair against the evil monster. I lied there for a few moments, waiting for the paralysis to clear, and growing impatient as it wasn't.

Suddenly, from the bathroom, I heard Ray shouting. "Mars Power Activate!" and the door in front of me flew off as someone clattered across the floor in red high-heels.

"Seri?" I heard above me after a second. Someone's finger prodded my shoulder, but I could only make strange noises into the ground, wondering why I was suddenly so alert but completely unable to move. "Aime! Keep that thing distracted and _don't _touch it! I think Seri is cursed!"

I felt some strange tingling on my back and suddenly began to feel light and only partially real, like someone had numbed all of my muscles and there were spaces of my being that was somewhere off in space. Ray gasped above me, but his voice was becoming less audible with each passing second. My eyes began to flutter shut and the sounds of fighting above me were a mile away.

"Seri! Stay calm! I'm going to break your curse with one of my paper curse-dispellers! Ok? Stay calm." I could've sworn he started mumbling some weird Japanese chant, but he might've been singing the national anthem for all I knew. Suddenly, something stuck itself to my back and everything cleared just like my head had been pulled from a bucket of iced-water. I pulled in a gasp of breath and Ray grabbed my hair roughly, pulling my head up and slapping me soundly across the face, enabling me to see, but stinging brutally.

"Hey! That hurt, asshole!" I shouted, though I was still coughing.

"Um, guys? Would you mind helping me?" Aime shrieked, flitting across the room quickly, jumping from wall to wall as a monster made completely of electricity chased him. I noticed that it seemed to be taking power from the outlets and quickly scrambled to unplug the cords behind the machine's as Ray jumped up and started fighting.

I couldn't help but snicker at his outfit as I made my way across the floor, my forehead gleaming with crying sweat. He was clad in the same outfit as Aime and I, though red-oriented, and had on high-heels. His skirt, however, wasn't moving an inch despite how fast he was moving and he definitely knew how to walk in high heels.

I yanked on the cords, only to realize with dismay that the monster was drawing the power directly from the outlets, and wondered how I was going to cut off the power.

"Seri," Lunde whispered beside me, causing me to squeal with surprise. He waited for me to calm down, the sound of Aime and Ray yelling in the background as they fought intensely. "Stand back, Seri, and get ready to kill the monster while it's down. Ray!" Lunde shouted, catching Ray's attention. "Use your fireball attack to melt these outlets to cut off the power and dump that monster on its static-butt!"

Ray grabbed his wand hesitantly, copying Aime as he held it above his head and shouted, "Fireball!" As he swung the wand downward, a pillar of fire burst forth from the top. He aimed it at all the outlets and melted them all. The monster suddenly dimmed and collapsed on the ground.

"No… Power…" it rasped and I started trembling at the realization that these monsters could speak. I grabbed my tiara, though it was still hot from the last attack. I quickly removed it and hurled it at the monster.

"Moon Tiara Action!"I cried and watched as the tiara exploded into a disk of hot energy and ripped through the limp, electric body of the monster.

"Lovely!" it shrieked as the body evaporated, leaving only a severed plug on the ground where it was previously lying. I felt queasy for a second as the tiara suddenly reappeared back on my forehead.

"Why do those monsters say 'lovely' when they die? It's so creepy!" I shuddered as I looked at the slightly darkened plug, making the conclusion that it was previously connected to one of the gaming systems.

"It's the sound the item makes as the curse is broken," Ray explained matter-of-factly. Lunde nodded, though he looked at bit confused that someone other than him knew the answer to one of my stupid questions.

Aime sat down, breathing heavily. "That was tough… Is it just me or are these monsters getting tougher?"

"They are," Lunde affirmed darkly, his tail resuming its swishing motion. "The thing about dark magic that's so dangerous is the more you use it, the more powerful it becomes until you're completely consumed by it. Endyre doesn't seem to realize that if he doesn't take breaks between these episodes, he's going to be swallowed by darkness."

"Like the weird curse on Seri…" Aime muttered.

"Curse?" I tensed, suddenly remembering when I was fading away.

"Yeah, Seri. You were lying on the ground and you were transparent and I didn't know what to do!" Ray scratched the back of his head nervously, looking strangely comfortable and cute in his outfit.

"It was a transportation curse. Seri wasn't being swallowed by darkness, he was being kidnapped, most likely by Endyre. Thankfully, Ray knew how to break the curse." Lunde jumped on the counter, looking down at Ricky's limp body with distaste. "And what is this guy doing here? Is he dead or something?"

"Ricky!" I screeched, remembering the poor, unconscious body of my future-husband. I ran over to him and cradled his head in my arms. At that instant, his eyes fluttered open and he looked at me, confusion in his partially closed eyes.

"Why are you so adept at breaking curses? And where did you get those paper curse-breakers?" Aime asked, breaking the flow of my romantic moment.

"Am I in heaven?" Ricky muttered, making me giggle. I caressed his cheek as he looked at me intensely, Ray obviously avoiding Aime's question in order to make gagging noises in the background of my intense love scene. "Do we get to screw the angels?"

Ray laughed hysterically as I pulled back my hand to slap Ricky across the face, but by then Ricky had passed out again. I pushed him off my lap and his head made a satisfying crack as it hit the tile. "He'll be fine," I explained to everyone. Lunde ran over to the melted power outlets and we watched as he whacked them with his tail, causing them to explode in clouds of stars. When the smoke faded, everything looked brand new. We strolled out of the store, thankful the sun was setting and the streets were deserted.

"Whatever happened to Naka?" I asked, suddenly realizing they might've died and was somewhat upset by this fact.

"Oh, I found two boys making-out in the alley by the arcade and went ahead and erased their memories and sent them home. They're probably up to no good by now…" Lunde trailed off, hinting at naughtiness in his subtle, feline sort of way.

"WHAT?" I yelled, taken by surprise at the news that Naka and Melvin were making out, and Aime blushed at the naughtiness. Ray yawned, completely bored, though still in drag. We all were.

"So, what? Is this going to keep happening?" Ray asked, his voice caustic. I paused after his question, giving it more thought than the answer that Lunde gave us certainly would. Would we be doing this forever? Would I have to constantly risk my life and be terrified of everything and be forced to fight monsters clad in a slutty girls' uniform and some rather uncomfortable panties?

"Until Endyre is defeated, I guess." Lunde led us through the alleys in the direction of my house. I made up my mind that I wasn't going to let Ray into my house, and sincerely hoped that he lived close by. I tried to telepathically beg Aime to take Ray home with him, hoping that somehow his absurd intelligence meant that he was psychic. It didn't.

"Bummer. How long is that going to take?"

"Um… I don't know…" Lunde looked uncomfortable and willing to finish the questioning.

We reached my house and Ray bid us farewell in his usual rude way, much to my intense relief. I didn't like him at all and knew I was going to have to spend an absurd amount of time with him now which I wasn't looking forward to at all. Aime lingered awkwardly as our suits vaporized, Lunde already having circled around my house and climbing in through the window.

"Are you ok, Aime?" I felt my stomach rumble and was imagining what kind of food my mother would have for dinner, realizing that I wasn't eating very much recently, having skipped out on dinner the previous night.

"What do you think of Ray?" Aime asked casually, almost blushing. I frowned.

"Do you have a crush on him? After seeing him in drag? And he's a douchebag! What kind of insane mindset are you in?"

Aime blushed more furiously and I half-way expected him to deny it, though he didn't. He kept his mouth firmly shut and looked at the sidewalk, an abashed look on his face. I sighed and rubbed my arms to keep them warm as it was getting chilly.

"Well, I don't know. I guess we'll be seeing a lot of each other from now on, right? I'll have to get used to him. I'm a bit taken aback by all of this, actually," I sighed. I grabbed Aime's arm and dragged him away from my house for us to go for a walk.

"Yeah, so am I. Being a celestial warrior of justice wasn't something I imagined. And all the power is bizarre."

"Power?" I asked, confused. I felt a bit tougher with the suit on (which made no sense that I would be tougher in girls' clothes) but never felt any power. I still felt fairly weak and helpless.

"Well, yeah. You didn't get to see me, but I was flying off the walls back at the arcade."

"Um… Ok? That never happened to me. Although I was a bit taken aback by the fact that I can do back-flips in my suit," I muttered, only looking vaguely interested. My mind was wandering as it usually did when I was concerned about someone else. Who was Tuxedo Mask?

"Oh, I see. Maybe all of us have different abilities? I don't know, I'm just so overwhelmed by all of this…" then he looked at his watch. "Oh! I have to get home and do my homework! Bye!" He dashed off, while I wearily waved, yawning. I sat on a nearby bench, thankful for the convenience, and was about to fall asleep, when somebody tapped my on the shoulder.

"You're going to get raped sitting her in the middle of the night," I heard a deep voice chide me. Opening my eyes, I saw Darren standing above me.

"Fuck off," I muttered, sleepily curling into a ball. Before I knew it, his face was centimeters from mine. I lazily opened my eyes, and flew back an inch, seeing his face so close.

"I love you," he muttered, and suddenly the sky turned pink and romantic music started playing and he leaned in to kiss me. I waited with anticipation, closing my eyes slowly, and the second his lips touched mine, I woke up to find myself sprawled across a bench, drooling on the hard wood.

"Oh, fuck!" I shouted, sitting up once I realized that I had just dreamed that I was kissing Darren and I liked it! I was filled with revulsion as I trudged home, not able to even eat more than a few bites of the miso soup my mom had made. I duly noted I was thankful no hobos had molested me while I was unconscious on the deserted sidewalk, but that did little to help my mood.

I feared something was disgustingly wrong with me. Next thing I knew, I was going to be lusting after Endyre.

Hmm… Endyre… Wait! No~!

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**Another chapter down. If you noticed any mistakes or just want to comment, reviews are greatly appreciated.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: The concept of Sailor Moon doesn't belong to us and all the jazz. I'm sure you all know that already**

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_I flung myself at him, sobbing hysterically, desperate to keep him from his death. Angrily, he grabbed my arms and forced me away from him, biting his lip to keep from saying anything over my depressed sobbing._

_"You can't leave, Endymion! I won't let you! We can fight this, together!" I wailed, ignoring the fact that he was so much stronger and bigger than me. If I wanted him to stay, I was going to have to do it with words and love, not force._

_"Serenity, stop! I have to leave and there's nothing you can do about it, so stop making a fool of yourself. Don't you want to send me off with honor and dignity?" His bright blue eyes shone with irritation, but I could see the pain underneath his hardened exterior. It filled my heart and it was all I could do to keep from getting on my knees and begging him to forget all about his duty and run away with me._

_"But the Dark Moon Clan will surely kill you, and then what? You want me to wait here while you run off to fight and die? You expect me to simply accept your death and move on? That's the most selfish thing I've ever heard in my life! I hate you!" I screamed, my dress fluttering behind me in the light breath that trickled in through the courtyard. The stars shone brightly overhead, but they could do little to calm me down._

_"Serenity…" Endymion muttered, grief leaking through his features. I breathed heavily, my chest rising and falling. I couldn't let him do this to me, just because he thought there was nothing I could do to stop him._

_"Just because I'm a woman and I'm not allowed to fight alongside you? This isn't right! If you're leaving, why can't I go with you? I'm just as qualified to fight as you are! I hold the power of the Silver Crystal!"_

_He grabbed my shoulders, shaking me roughly. "That's why you have to stay behind! You're our last hope if we lose! If you were to die, our life would perish instantly."_

_"If you died, __**I **__would perish instantly! There would be nothing left for me to live for. Besides, who says I would even be able to save all of us? Who says I can fully harness the power of the Silver Crystal?"_

_"Serenity… Just kiss me and let me leave with a good memory, rather than the sight of you in front of me making a scene." His face was set in grim determination. I opened my mouth to yell at him more, but instantly he had pulled me to him and silenced me instantly with his warm lips. My mind was clouded for a few moments and I focused on only him until it was over, and he was gone._

_I slumped to the ground, overcome with sorrow. The sight of him walking through the rose-covered gates was too much to bear. The single tear that fell from my cheek onto the stone beneath me didn't even make a sound. Not even the Silver Crystal could bring him back once he died, and then I would have nothing left to live for._

_"Seri!" I heard the voice speak my pet-name behind me, faint and soft, almost a woman's but not quite; my dearest father who refused to have anything to do with men and was the queen of the Neo Palace. I turned, slowly, tears glistening in my eyes. Her smile faded as she saw my sorrow._

_"Oh, darling Serenity! I'm so sorry that it has to be this way!" She wrapped me in a warm hug and I cried on her shoulder for a few moments. "But, I have some fabulous news! There is another man – a handsome one – who desires your heart. If Endymion does not make it back alive, then you will be given to your new suitor. He's the prince of the Dark Moon Kingdom. Such a marriage would inevitably end this war between good and evil, don't you think?" _

_I pushed her off, disgusted. "You're the worst father ever! I don't want another man! And the war between good and evil will never end! If Endymion departs for the stars, then I will join him!"_

_Queen Etharea opened his/her mouth in shock. "Don't call me father! It's such a grotesque word! And don't be silly! If Endymion dies, then you will merely meet him in your next life. Simply enjoy the new husband that has been so graciously offered to you!"_

_I stood there, the moon shining furiously into my soul, cleansing me with its renewed rays. I looked at my father with a fury too intense for words. "There will be no other life without Endymion. I cannot love another when my heart, my Endymion, is dead. I will abdicate myself from the throne and join the Royal Guard in order to be with him." I turned, determined, leaving behind my screeching excuse for a parent, my eyes set furiously for the future that I would create for myself. _

_To love is merely to die._

I opened my eyes slightly to see the enlarged kitty face of Lunde pressed against mine, eyes wide with a probing look that made me uneasy. "Lunde?" I mumbled, thinking his breath smelled like tuna and dead birds.

"Yes?" His eyes weren't blinking, which was a little creepy.

"I don't really like waking up to find that you're shoving your nose into my face."

"Would you like me to shove other things in your face?"

"Just get the fuck off me!" I yelled, grabbing him and throwing him off the bed. He meowed in protest, but I was much bigger and slapped him off the bed with ease, laughing like I ruled the world. I wasn't prepared for his sharp claws when he lunged at me, however, and walked downstairs with various claw marks on my arms and face.

"You look like you got in a fight," my mother stated suspiciously as I ravenously ate a piece of toast and some cereal, thankful that she woke me up early enough to get some breakfast or I would be much too hungry to make it to lunch and would pass out or resort to eating my classmate's limbs, which would make me very unpopular and I would certainly die a social outcast cannibal.

"It was that stupid cat that did it! He attacked me and now everyone is going to make fun of me and my social life will end as I know it!"

"What social life? We all know you're a geek with no friends," my evil sister interrupted. I stuck my tongue out at her, but she shut me up by flipping me off and walked out of the room.

"Keri! That kind of finger gesture is not allowed in this house!" my mom yelled, waving her spatula in the air. My sister just yelled that she understood and left me alone with my evil mother. Dad walked into the room sleepily, pouring himself a cup of coffee and running his hands through his thinning hair. He kissed my mom with a gross popping noise, which reminded me of the various kisses/dream kisses I had shared with random people in the past few weeks.

Thankfully the creepy Prince Endyre, who insisted on molesting me every chance he got, hadn't made an appearance in nearly a week. Aime had actually ended up being one of my best friends, and had decided that we (Aime, Ray, and I) should start a study group in order to further bond as a team of super cross-dressers that fight for justice and love. Although, I think he realized that my chances of making it to the next grade were getting slimmer and slimmer every time I had to take a pop quiz.

Ray decided to come, though he claims it's only because he has nothing better to do. We all know he's just lonely.

Unfortunately, I was too caught up in my disgust at the sight of my mother and father's wavering passion that I didn't realize that I was insanely late for school and got kicked out of the house with only seventeen seconds until school started. I started running like mad, making sure to look up so I didn't run into anyone as I had been doing a lot recently. However, someone plowed into me from the side, and I slumped to the sidewalk, cursing my horrible luck.

"Oh, sorry!" a deep voice answered, but quickly took off. I saw the brown ponytail in the distance, stood back up, and continued running.

"Hey, hottie! What's the rush?" some punk called as I passed him, wrapping his arms around me and trying to kiss me. I suddenly froze, realizing he was ten times stronger than me and smelled strongly of body spray.

"Hey! Lemme go or I'll kick you in the balls!" I wailed, struggling and hoping he was just kidding.

He laughed, "I like 'em frisky." I felt something hard through his jeans grinding into my lower back and tensed, suddenly realizing this was serious. I opened my mouth to scream but nothing came out. I closed my eyes, bracing myself for what was to come when suddenly the boy behind me yelled and fell to the ground. I opened my eyes to see that a tall boy with a brown ponytail had just slugged him and was examining me with worry to make sure I was ok.

"Wow… You saved me!" I yelled, which seemed to surprise him. He ran away as fast as he could and I just watched like an idiot until I realized I was seriously late at that point and started running again, leaving the unconscious body of the teenage punk on the sidewalk.

Eventually, I made it to the school, sweat pouring down my forehead, ready to receive my punishment.

Mr. Gerund looked up from his chalkboard for an instant when I opened the door, then pointed for me to go and sit out in the hallway. I bowed me head in shame as the rest of the class snickered evilly and Naka gave me a disappointed look while Melvin just gazed dreamily at him.

School passed in a dreary daze, while all I had to look forward to in my intense amount of depression was the tasty prospect of lunch. I drooled on my desk as I imagined the delicious jumbo fried shrimp my mom had packed me for lunch while screaming at me about my horrible sense of time and how I was going to be a failure to humanity at this rate with nothing to live for.

"Ew… Seri! You're drooling on the friggin' desk! That's disgusting!" Ray yelled from the doorway, Aime peeking from over his shoulder. They had obviously come to find me so we could all eat lunch together. Naka and Melvin had ditched me to go on a date, so I didn't mind much. Eating lunch alone was depressing.

"Hey! Shut up! You're lip ring is gross! So take that!" I got so mad I fell off my desk, causing Aime to giggle softly. Standing up quickly, I glared at both of them and then reached inside my desk for my lunchbox. Digging around, my eyes widened with a horrifying realization.

Nothing was in there! "Ah! I forgot my lunch! No~~~!" I screamed, flailing my arms around in random directions as though I could somehow summon my lunchbox with my magical bird powers. Ray watched with mild interest and Aime went up to the board and started correcting some of Mr. Gerund's math equations. Mr. Gerund watched with some pedophilic mix of embarrassment and awe while I continued squealing and carrying on like the world was ending and I would slowly waste away without my yummy shrimp.

Sobbing, I grabbed Ray by his collar, pulling his face inches from mine. "You'll share some of your lunch with me, right?" I asked, my eyes sparkling dangerously. He looked uncomfortable and wouldn't meet my eyes. "Ray?"

"Alright, alright! But I only have a sandwich and some rice balls and I have to go back to my classroom to get it. Do you need to go get yours, too, Aime?"

Aime looked back from the chalkboard, looking very intelligent and cute. Sick Mr. Gerund seemed a bit overwhelmed by the adorable genius schoolboy standing only inches away from him. Ray also seemed a bit more radiant, but I couldn't focus because my tummy was too busy growling at me to stuff it with food before it decided to eat me itself.

"Yeah, I was going to go to my classroom after we got Seri. Do you want some of my lunch, too? I brought some ramen that my mom brought back from one of her business trips."

"Yes!" I pleaded, practically melting at the thought of hot, steamy ramen to fill my malnourished stomach. We all fled the classroom, Mr. Gerund yelling at me not to be late back to class. I resisted the urge to flip him off and instead followed Ray and Aime hastily to my salvation.

When we got to Ray's classroom, there was a thin boy with gorgeous blonde hair (even prettier than mine!) sitting in his desk, eating his lunch quietly. I noticed what he was eating, and felt my stomach grumble so loudly, he looked up to see what the source of the noise was. He was eating something with fish and rice and it smelled delicious to the point that I couldn't help but watch him eat. He looked at me, glared, stood up, and stormed out of the room, taking the delicious scent with him.

"Wait…" I whispered, wanting to chase him down and jack his food.

"Don't mind him. He's Minoru Daisuki. He's a loner and nobody likes to talk to him much because supposedly, underneath that pretty face, he's got a shitty personality and thinks he's too good to hang out with the rest of us," Ray explained, searching around his cluttered desk for his bento box.

"So you think he's pretty?" Aime asked quietly, almost to the point that Ray might not have heard if he wasn't so in tune with everything around him. Once I called him an asshole under my breath when he told me my sweatshirt made me look fat and he punched me.

"Yeah, I guess. But I don't really go for girly guys. Sorry, Aime and Seri!" Ray replied jokingly. Aime smiled weakly and looked down, playing with his sleeve. I wanted to say something, but knew Aime would just want me to leave him alone. Although his sad expression quickly reverted to cheerful contentment and we watched Ray look through his desk some more.

"What's taking so long?" I whined, pulling on his sleeve, hungry for food and getting desperate to the point of considering cannibalism like I had previously that morning. Ray looked awfully meaty, anyway.

Ray, noticing my deranged expression, rummaged through his papers until he slammed his fist on the top, letting out a growl. "I can't find it! Don't tell me I forgot my lunch also?"

My stomach punched me in the spine and I slumped to the ground, crying. "I'm so hungry! Waah!" I felt weak and Ray helped me stand up. Aime sighed, running over to make sure I wasn't going to die.

"Don't worry, guys. I brought plenty of food for all of us. Let's go to my room and we'll all eat outside, ok?" Aime reassured me as I wept for my hungry tummy. Ray rolled his eyes, but his stomach growled also. We both got up and followed Aime, cutting through the courtyard outside to get to Aime's classroom. On the way, I slumped to the ground, too hungry to go on.

"I can't make it, guys! Go on without me!" I called, followed by the violent sound of my stomach growling. Ray cursed under his breath but ran over to me, telling Aime that he'd stay with me and to quickly get his lunch before I started eating grass, which wasn't a bad idea.

"Seri, look," Ray whispered after a few seconds of me trying to force myself away from the healthy, green, appetizing grass.

I looked up to see other students laying around, hungry and whining. Their friends, frowning, were sharing their lunches with the unfortunate losers who couldn't remember to bring their lunch, myself included. About half the class was hungry and begging those with lunches for food, except one boy was sitting by a tree at the edge of the school campus, eating alone.

Quickly, I helped myself up and began to crawl over to the lonely boy, feeling a strange mix of curiosity and desperation as I approached him. Ray had ran over to Aime, who was quickly walking towards us. While they spoke in hushed whispers, I finally reached the boy sitting at the tree. He wasn't wearing the traditional uniform, just a simple shirt with a green collar and khaki slacks with some black boots. His long brown hair was pulled back in a pony tail, and I realized that he was very tall, just not obviously so because he was sitting. Overall, he had a warm and open face, though it was pulled into an expression of grumpy loneliness.

"Oh my God! Those jumbo shrimp look tasty…" I whispered from over his shoulder behind the tree where I had hid myself while judging his outer-appearance. He jumped, almost dropping the shrimp from his chopsticks onto his lap but catching it in just the nick of time.

I crawled from behind the tree and sat on my knees in front of him, staring at his food ravenously. It looked even better than my mom's cooking and I was debating the best way to get him to share some with me. "Can I have some?" I asked, trying to be friendly and not just some creepy weirdo who was mooching food off of some guy I didn't know. "Wait! You're the boy who saved me this morning! Thanks so much! You're sure strong!"

"You're not afraid of me?" he asked, shocked. Everyone else was watching me now, speaking in hushed whispers.

"Seri's talking to Makaio…"

"Does he have a death wish, or something? Everyone knows that kid beats up anyone who looks at him funny."

"Yeah, I heard he actually killed a kid once and got sent to jail."

The whispers eventually swirled together, making Makaio's face turn redder and redder until eventually he looked close to tears. I frowned, thinking he looked too tough to be worked up about stupid kids.

"Hey!" I shouted at the group of kids whispering. "It's rude to gossip! How about I talk about you and make _**you**_feel bad? You're all a bunch of fat bastards with bad acne!"

They glared at me, but shut up and stormed off, muttering to themselves about how I should mind my own business. Makaio gave me a confused look, but I smiled again and pointed to his shrimp. "So… Can I have one?"

He gave me a blank expression, but then laughed, looking much happier. "You seem pretty determined. Yeah, you can have a bit of my lunch. I made plenty."

"You _**made**_ it?" I asked, surprised as I shoved the delicious piece of shrimp in my mouth. Ray and Aime started to walk over to us.

"Yeah… I love cooking and baking. I live alone, so I'm in charge of everything."

"Could you teach me how to cook sometime? I'm going to be a wife and I have to know how to do everything!" I declared, the image of me in a wedding dress, betrothed to the handsome Ricky, floating through my mind. I wanted to make him wonderful meals so he would love me even more, but I didn't really have much of a talent in the kitchen. I could make it look like the picture, but when it came to taste… it was almost inedible.

Makaio was about to answer when Aime called my name. "Seri! I… seem to have misplaced my lunch as well… I don't know what happened. I swear I had it when I left the house… Are you going to be ok until you get home?"

"Yeah!" I chirped, motioning to Makaio. "My new friend gave me some shrimp so I think I can last until after school. Maybe we could all go to the arcade and make Ricky give us some food?" I suggested, looking around.

"Friend?" Makaio asked, his face unreadable. I froze, wondering if I made him mad.

"Oh, well… If you don't want to be friends… But you can still come with us! You'll love the arcade! I actually think it's called the Revolution Arcade."

"Oh, I'd love to come! I don't have much to do after school today besides some laundry."

"I guess he can come, so long as he doesn't cramp my style," Ray muttered. I slapped him upside the head.

"What style? You wear fishnets!" I yelled. Aime sat down next to me, making conversation with Makaio about what class he was in.

"I'm in class C," Makaio answered.

"Class D!" I piped in.

"Class B," Ray muttered slowly.

"And I'm in Class A… Weird how we're all in different classes, huh? Is there a Class E? I can't remember."

"Nope," Ray replied. "Just A through D."

We all sat in silence, Makaio offering us more of his food, when suddenly a black portal appeared in the center of the courtyard, pulling dark energy into it. After a second, a girl with pitch black hair and a black crescent moon on her forehead stepped out of the portal, clutching a huge axe lightly in her hands and looking around with amusement.

"Sailor Moon! Show yourself!" she yelled. Kids watched in awe as she stood there, looking uncomfortable.

"Seri!" I heard someone hiss behind me and turned to see Lunde hiding behind the tree. Makaio turned too, making a surprised yelp.

"Did that cat just talk?" he asked, shocked. I smirked as Lunde's paw beeped, signaling that we found another source of celestial energy common to only those who are Sailor Warriors.

"We found another Sailor Scout!" Lunde wailed happily. Ray covered his ears in irritation, but quickly we hid behind some bushes and pulled out our wands, making sure nobody was watching. Thankfully, everyone was so enthralled with the strange girl that they didn't look over to see what we were doing.

"Mars Power Suit-up!"

"Mercury Power Suit-up!"

"Moon Lunar Power Suit-up!"

We rose into the air, spinning as the ribbons encircled us, instantly exploded to cover us in our suits. Ray span in a vortex of fire and Aime was covered in flowing streams of water that acted almost exactly the same as my ribbons. After a few seconds, we descended to the ground, our wands turning into the brooches that glinted against the sunlight on our chests. Makaio watched with shock, but soon Lunde pulled himself aside and gave him the 'You're-a-Sailor-Soldier-and-it-is-now-your-job-to-protect the-world-from-evil-blablabla' spiel.

"Hey!" I shouted as we sprang from the bushes, the heroic wind rustling through our hair. "You despicable fiend! Was it you who stole the lunches from these poor students? Anyone who thinks it's ok to deny the future generation their nutritious meals is a fiend beyond compare! In the name of the moon!" I yelled, striking into my battle pose. Aime quickly followed and Ray, utterly confused and embarrassed, quickly followed with a wimpy copy.

"We shall punish you!"

She looked me up and down, almost shocked. "Is it really you?" She looked almost close to tears. Her eyes had a snake-like quality, almost the same as Endyre's. Despite their eerie quality, they were a gentle blue and I suddenly couldn't look away from her eyes. But she looked away before I could start to think. My attention quickly broke and I went back to my interrogation.

"What do you mean? And where's Endyre?"

She paused, struggling to find a composed sentence. Finally, she calmly replied. "Father is busy with other plans. And yes, it was I who removed the lunches from some of these students."

"Father?" I screeched, utterly grossed out. The bastard had kids, and he _still_ tried to molest me every chance he got! He was such a dirty, old man!

She looked at me, her snake-eyes beautiful but deadly and sent shivers down my spine. Her stare was exact, her expression was blank. The silence was eerie as she reached into a satchel hanging from her blood red dress.

She held up a single black crystal. Its dull glow was almost sickening to me and it felt unnatural as she held it up in the air. It hovered above her hand as though suspended by a thread. "This is the Black Crystal. It will absorb the hunger and energy of these children." After she spoke, a mist floated from all the kids in the courtyard, their eyes heavy as they fell to the ground. All the smoke swirled around the crystal and was instantly sucked in, causing the dull glow to become just a little bit brighter.

"Wait! What are you doing!" Lunde yelled, jumping from the bushes.

"Jupiter Power Suit-up!" A spray of electricity shock out of the bushes and Sailor Jupiter, otherwise known as Makaio, quickly lunged out, clad in the average outfit with a green color theme.

Sailor Jupiter quickly followed Lunde and stood there, just a bit too tall to completely pull off the skirt but still strangely cute as his cheeks turned red. He seemed a bit more natural in a skirt, which was weird.

Lunaria glared at me. "Your friends are pesky. For now, I'll leave the fighting to a demon. But don't expect me to show mercy to all of you forever!" She snapped her fingers and vanished, everyone still unconscious and drained. I wondered if they were dead, deciding to walk over to one of the unconscious girls in our class to check for a pulse.

"Seri! Look out!" Sailor Mars (otherwise known as Ray) yelled, lunging at me like some rabid sex-offender. I opened my mouth in shock but no noise came out due to the fact that the breath had been knocked out of me once I hit the ground with a painful thud. A lunchbox floated into the sky, looking like it was covered with hundreds of black ants. Just as I opened my mouth to scream, it opened and out crawled a girl in a schoolgirl's outfit. She would've looked completely normal if it weren't for the fact that she just crawled out of a lunchbox and her skin had a disgusting tint of blue to it.

"Hello! Do you want some of my lunch?" she asked politely, holding out the now seemingly normal lunchbox. Ray was still on top of me, breathing creepily and the girl was smiling sweetly.

"Get the hell off me, pervert!" I yelled, pushing Mars off of me. I stood up, brushing off my violated body and regarded the girl. She couldn't be a monster like any of the others, could she?

"Sailor Moon! Get away from her!" Sailor Mercury yelled, obviously not fazed by her discolored cuteness. She blinked, shocked, and then her face morphed into something hideous.

"Eat your fucking lunch!" she yelled and hurled her lunchbox at me. Out sprayed a plethora of rotten foods that I quickly dodged in the nick of time. The grass surrounding the pile of sludge quickly melted away and the girl's face, which now had a huge nose and giant fangs and glowing red eyes, curled into a grin. "It has all the essential vitamins and nutrients for a healthy demise!"

More food sprayed out. "Bubble…!" Sailor Mercury yelled just as the pile of acidic rot was inches from hitting me. I quickly moved my arms to shield myself from the oncoming attack. "SPRAY!" The bubbles sprayed from Sailor Mercury's hands and quickly froze the pile of sludge before it could hit me and eat me alive.

"Oh crap! I'm going to have to thaw and serve! Remember never to thaw perishable food at room temperature!" The monster quickly reached into her lunchbox again and pulled out a rice cake that looked yummy. "For now… You want some of my rice cake?" her face quickly morphed back into something cute. I backed away, somewhat freaked out. The rice cake began to grow to a massive size and she dropped it, laughing madly as the thing grew bigger and bigger. A mouth began to form and before I knew what was going on, it was crawling towards me while gnashing its disgusting teeth.

I screamed and turned to run but tripped and then cursed my horrible luck and wondered why the stupid monsters always had to come after me.

"Supreme…!" Jupiter yelled, a weird antenna coming out of his tiara that seemed to conduct electricity. "Thunder!" A beam of electricity shot at the monster rice cake and it exploded in a mess of rice and red bean paste.

"You cooked it too quickly!" The monster girl screamed, but quickly turned away when a rose flashed past her and cut her face. "Ah! Don't chop me up! I bruise easily!"

"Sailor Moon!" I heard the manly voice behind me. I quickly turned to see Tuxedo Mask standing on the rooftop, his cape flowing behind him heroically.

"Tuxedo Mask!" I cried out, holding my hands to my chest.

"Lunch is one of the most important meals of the day, and any fiend that tries to ruin the sanctity of a good meal needs a good helping of justice over-easy!" he yelled, throwing his cape to cover himself. "Make sure to cook thoroughly before serving…" And with that, he vanished.

"Tuxedo Mask…" I sighed, then turned my attention back to the evil monster.

"I'll cook up some more evil to take care of you pesky brats for cutting my face!" she screeched and readied her demon lunchbox for another attack.

"Cook this, bitch!" Sailor Mars yelled, now thoroughly repulsed by the creepy monster. "Fire…!" He pressed his pointer fingers together and began to charge his 'Fire Soul' attack, but before he could say anything else, another voice rang through the quiet courtyard.

"Crescent Beam!"

A yellow laser shot out of nowhere and struck the monster, who slumped to the ground as her lunchbox hit the ground with a clatter. I quickly turned to see who it was that just did an attack, realizing it had to be another Sailor Scout, but all I could see was a flash of yellow hair before the culprit vanished behind a school building.

"That bitch cut me off…" Sailor Mars growled, also seeing the yellow hair.

"Finish it off, Sailor Moon!" Lunde yelled, his tail swishing excitedly. I quickly turned my attention back to the monster before she could recover and kill us with her disgusting lunch.

"Moon Tiara Action!" I yelled, throwing the burning disk at the girl. It tore through her easily and she threw back her head and screamed.

"Minced lovely!" she yelled before dissolving and leaving behind only the lunch box, which laid on the ground innocently. We all stood there awkwardly, wondering what we should do.

"Is it just me or are these monsters fucked up? And who the hell was that chick? Was she another Sailor Scout?" Sailor Mars asked, sweat glistening on his forehead. For being in a skirt, he looked very masculine and winded.

"Well, they aren't supposed to be pretty. Otherwise they wouldn't be monsters, dumbass," Lunde replied, swishing his air through the air lazily. He walked up to an unconscious student and sniffed it. "I think they're all still alive. They had some sort of energy sucked out of them which puts them in a state of unconsciousness while their bodies recuperate. The girl must've been another Sailor Scout. I don't know who else would have that kind of power. I'm sure she'll show herself when the time comes. You're just pissed because she showed you up."

"Are you sure or did you just make all of that up?" I asked suspiciously. Sailor Mars was nursing his sore ego, Aime was inspecting the students studiously and Makaio was looking at his outfit more closely, twirling around randomly and then looking at his skirt closer with intense concentration.

After a moment, Makaio finally spoke. "This skirt doesn't move!"

"Yeah… I think your skirt affords you some modesty. These _are _super powered outfits, after all. They probably are enchanted to cover your crotch and your butt no matter what." Lunde opened some kid's lunchbox skillfully with his nose and started looking inside.

"Wait! Mine doesn't! I tripped a while ago and everyone got a major view of my underwear! Why is it only Makaio's skirt that conveniently covers his crotch no matter what?" I yelled.

"Well… actually, mine doesn't seem to move either," Aime muttered, spinning around to demonstrate.

"Same here," Ray added, an evil grin spreading across his face.

"Mahbee iz cuz yer skir' doesn' lahk yoo?" Lunde mumbled with a mouth full of food stolen from the unconscious student's lunchbox.

I fell into the perfect pose of dramatic anguish because of how mean everyone was to me, but then had to stand back up quickly because my skirt flapped up to give everyone another embarrassing view of my underwear at the most inconvenient time ever.

Ray burst out laughing. "Nice undies!"

Aime and Makaio started laughing softly, also. At least they had the decency to try to cover up their laughter, but eventually it proved futile. Lunde sprayed food all over the kid's face as the situation got to be too much.

"My skirt really does hate me!" I wailed, tears running down my face. I was about to commit immediate suicide with a pair of chopsticks lying on the ground when the bell rang. All of the student's eyes began to open, Lunde made a mad dash of escape, and everyone's suit vanished and returned to their normal clothes. Some unfortunate boy looked around, wondering why the hell there was chewed up food all over him that smelled like tuna.

Nobody seemed to have any memory of what had happened. In fact, immediately after everyone had woken up, they forgot they had ever even been asleep. The rest of the day passed with me moping and Naka slapping me occasionally upside the head whenever he talked and I was too busy feeling sorry for myself to pay attention.

The situation went something like this:

"Seri! Are you even listening to me?" Slap.

"Hey! Ow! That hurt! What the fuck!" Slap back.

"NO CUSSING IN MY FUCKING CLASS! GO OUT IN THE HALL, NOW, YOU FUCKING BRATS!" Chalk throw attack.

We walked out to the hall with dismay, hoping to avoid Mr. Gerund's wrath. On our way out the door, we passed the principal, Mr. Muchi, who stormed past us into the room and began cussing Mr. Gerund out for cussing too loudly and his overuse of corporal punishment. We decided it was safest to go to the bathroom.

"Melvin?" I asked softly, doing my best cute face as we walked.

He turned his undying attention away from Naka. "Yes?"

"Why the hell are you even here?"

"Because Naka is here," he replied matter-of-factly. Naka just blushed with a mix of irritation and love. I nearly gagged.

None of us actually had to pee when we got to the restroom so we washed our hands and stood around chatting until the bell rang to let us go.

Naka was about to start talking about how much of a nutcase Mr. Gerund was when somebody walked out of the stall. I turned to look, ready to look away almost immediately because eye-contact was weird when suddenly I couldn't help but stare.

He had the darkest hair I had ever seen. Absolutely pitch black. It seemed to consume all the color from the rest of his face except for soft blue eyes. As I looked at him and his eyes met mine, I thought his eyes looked so very familiar and I couldn't place it.

"Um… Seri?" Naka asked, interrupting my desperate scramble to pinpoint why the boy looked so familiar. He walked past me, giving me a strange look. He was wearing a punk outfit.

"Is he a student here?" I asked after he left. My eyes were unable to leave the door he had just passed through.

"Why? You interested in him or something?" Naka answered sassily.

"No!"I yelled a bit too harshly and then stopped myself. I was suddenly repulsed at the idea of liking him. There was something about him that was just too… off. Something that made my skin crawl.

"Ok, ok! Don't bite my head off! He's an attractive young male and you're… well… Anyway, I jumped to conclusions. Sorry 'bout that. Anyway, his name is Noir or something. He's a transfer student. I'm not sure where. He doesn't talk to anybody. He has a twin sister somewhere around here… Her name is weird, too."

"Why is it that you know all of this and I don't?" I asked, miffed.

"Because I'm awesome!" Naka declared, and then the principal stormed in and yelled at us to get back to class. We quickly fled.

"Seri?" Aime asked later, after school as we were on our way to Ray's house to study. Ray seemed nervous for us to be going to his home, especially with Makaio, who Aime and I had forced to come. "Are you ok?"

I took a deep breath. "Do any of you know a kid named Noir?"

Aime shook his head, but Ray immediately piped in. "He's just some goth poser who only hangs out with his sister. They're probably in love or something. Anyway, don't tell me you're interested in him!"

"I'm not interested in him!" I yelled, suddenly angry.

"Whoa! Seri! Calm down!" Ray yelled back, freaked out. At that point, I don't think I had ever yelled at any of them out of serious anger.

I steamed for a moment. Everyone had stopped walking and watched me with timid caution. "I'm not interested in him at all. There's something about him that… makes me uncomfortable…" I finally explained, trying to make amends for my sudden outburst.

Ray looked like he was about to tease me again but then stopped himself, though not before Makaio made a menacing gesture. "Ah! Don't hurt me! I won't say anything!" Ray whimpered, cowering on the sidewalk. Makaio raised an eyebrow, but then turned his attention back to me.

"You get weird vibes from him?"

"Yeah… That's it. I don't know. Something about his eyes makes me uncomfortable. Almost… nostalgic…."

"Are you sure you're using that word correctly?" Aime asked. "It means a longing for something past. Have you met him before?"

"Yes, I know!" I snapped, actually having known the word from reading trashy romance novels. "Maybe I met him… I don't know."

"Well, anyway, we can worry about that later. Now, I need you guys to be very quiet as we go into my house because my grandpa is… Sleeping! Yeah! He's sleeping, so we're gonna sneak in through the back, ok?" Ray interrupted as we approached his house. He had told us before that he lived in a Fortune House and he was a Shinto Priest or something that read people's cards and the bone's and shit like that.

The house was gorgeous in its traditional Japanese style. We all watched in awe, thinking it was the coolest place ever.

Quietly, Ray snuck us around the back, but I began to grow suspicious. He was definitely hiding something. "Hey… Ray!" I started.

"SHUT UP!" he screeched, obviously stressed out, and then slapped himself on the forehead.

"Ray? Is that you? Why the hell are you going around the back? And who's with you?" An old man spoke from somewhere inside the house. Immediately, the sliding door in front of us slammed up and there stood a very short, old man with the bushiest eyebrows I had ever seen and a forehead as shiny as a star. "Ooh! You brought cute girls!" he muttered, looking at Aime and me hungrily. I shifted my weight uncomfortably and looked at Ray for some sort of explanation.

"And who's this guy? Don't tell me you all are here for one of those _orgies_ are you? You know, Ray, I never understand all your 'bisexual' nonsense."

"Grandpa," Ray muttered, mortified. "These are my friends. They're all boys. We're not here to have an orgy, we're here to have sex."

"Oh, no! You're gay!" Grandpa screeched, covering his mouth in horror. But then he looked at me and Aime again and smiled almost apologetically. "Oh, well. I guess it's ok if you're gay so long as you bring these cuties home with you. Come in, come in!"

Grandpa vanished into the house, mumbling something about getting us some snacks. I looked at Ray as we stood there awkwardly. "Um… Ray… Your grandpa is…."

"Yes, I know," Ray cut me off. He was too embarrassed even to harass me about anything, which was a pleasant change. We all walked into the house that smelled strongly of incense.

"Well, this is pleasant?" Aime offered, realizing it was just terribly awkward. Makaio just kept quiet, not wanting Ray's grandpa to think he was dating Ray or something. The sound of Ray's grandpa in the background breached the thin paper walls of the house and Ray quickly led us to his room and slammed the door, locking it behind him.

"Oh, no! Ray's gonna rape us now!" I cried out, teasing him. Ray lunged at me, trying to cover my mouth, which just got me going even more until I couldn't stop laughing. How was I supposed to know Ray's grandpa had a sixth sense?

All we could hear that broke my drunken laughter was the sound of Ray's grandpa shouting 'what?' and then footsteps up the stairs. Before Ray could even react, his grandpa had barged into the room with a face as red as a strawberry.

"You do _not_ get to sneak your friends into your room and molest them!" his grandpa yelled, slapping Ray upside the back of the head. Ray was so mortified I instantly regretted my previous actions and knew he would make me pay later on.

The rest of the afternoon passed with amusing chaos until Ray finally couldn't take it anymore and asked all of to leave. Well, actually he started crying and we snuck out while his grandpa was preoccupied scolding him for not being manly enough, but that was beside the point.

"Well… We'll have to go back again when Ray's grandpa isn't as crazy. I think he was on a painkiller," Aime finally said as we walked in dazed silence.

"Why would you say that?" Makaio asked, almost menacingly taller than both of us. Of course, I was the shortest so everything seemed menacingly tall.

"Well, he seemed almost delirious. But I think it's cool that Ray lives in a fortune temple. Do you think he can tell the future? He always seemed to be able to sense the monsters before they actually appeared…."

"He's just a freak of nature. That's all. Let's get some food!" I led us towards my favorite ice cream parlor even though it was starting to get late. Thank God I had a conveniently awesome cat that could tamper with my parent's mind so I could come home whenever I wanted.

"Hey! I used to go here all the time after my parents died!" Makaio exclaimed once we arrived. "They have the best frozen yogurt!"

"You guys like this place, too?" Aime asked. "Whenever my mom was working late, she'd leave me money for dinner and I'd walk here."

I deflated, realizing this was not just my favorite spot. "Wait, you mean we all come here?"

"It appears so…" Aime confirmed, moving to hold the door open for us.

"No! Allow me!" Makaio reached out and barely beat Aime to the door, holding it open for us like a true gentleman, despite the fact that we had just fought the forces of evil in drag with him only a few hours ago. Aime blushed and walked forward.

"I could've held it open…" he began to mutter.

"But I wanted to," Makaio stated.

I just watched this semi-romantic scene with little interest as I debated what I should order. I didn't have much money, but if I gave Aime and Makaio my cutest puppy eyes, they'd probably give me some of their food and then if I bought something filling and ate it really quickly, I'd feel full and then–

"Seri! You coming or what?" Makaio shouted. He obviously didn't want to hold the door open for me as much as he wanted to hold the door open for Aime. I strolled through the doorway as slowly as possible just to get revenge and narrowly avoided getting squished.

"Hey!" I protested after my near-death experience, but Makaio was already sitting with Aime, looking over his shoulder and the menu and chatting with him about what they should get. Apparently they were going to share something. I sauntered over, doing my best to not end up looking like a third wheel. When I approached the table I cleared my throat for them to notice me, but Makaio didn't even look up.

"We'll have the cheeseburger meal with extra ketchup."

"Makaio?"

"Yes?" he asked, looking at Aime while they shared a private joke.

"I'm not a waitress."

He looked up quickly, giving me an apologetic glance. "Oh. Sorry about that. You can sit there." He pointed to the booth across from him and Aime and then they continued laughing and giggling again. I could tell that I wasn't wanted, though Aime did make an effort to include me in their conversation.

"So, Seri. Why did you use to come here?"

"Oh, well. Before my sister turned into a bitch, we'd come here and grab some ice cream when she'd walk me home from school."

"That sounds nice. I think it's interesting how we all ended up meeting each other, we all live relatively close to each other and we all happen to be Sailor Scouts. Do you think its fate?"

"It must be," Makaio answered. We chatted some more and I was relieved they stopped ignoring me and let me join in their conversation, though I did still feel somewhat cut out. Eventually, the real waitress arrived and I had to admit she was adorable. She kept trying to make passes at Makaio who completely ignored her. I only felt a little sorry for her because she was really just a bimbo.

"It's really too bad Ray couldn't come, huh?" I asked, gulping down my ice cream with savory satisfaction.

Makaio and Aime nodded, but only half-heartedly. I grumpily dug into the final bits of my ice cream, wishing there was somebody out there perfect for me that wasn't a clueless blonde college student with nice teeth. My mind flashed to Darren for a split second but I was quickly horrified and batted it out of my mind forcefully. I would not fall into the cute cliché of all romances and fall in love with the person I couldn't stand at first! I wouldn't!

"Oh my God! I have to go home and do my homework!" Aime cried out, making the most noise I had ever heard from him since we had met. He jumped up, grabbed his bag, and ran for the door without so much as a goodbye. Makaio helplessly stood up to stop him, but before he could really figure out a good sentence, Aime's honor student impulse had him running home.

"Wait… I'll walk you home…" Makaio whispered. He sank back into the booth, staring at Aime's unfinished smoothie with puppy eyes. I sat there, my legs crossed and my eyebrows raised, waiting for him to realize I was still there. Eventually I cleared my throat again.

"No, I don't want anything else. Just the check, please," Makaio instructed the invisible waitress behind him.

"I'm not a fucking waitress!" I screeched, but Makaio just looked at me with the biggest puppy dog eyes I had ever seen. I thought they were bad when they were staring indirectly at Aime's food, but when I got the full brunt of the cuteness factor, I couldn't help but soften up.

"I'm going to take a crazy guess and say you like Aime."

Makaio nodded.

"And you're worried he doesn't like you back or something?"

Makaio nodded again.

"Are you a complete imbecile?"

Makaio _almost _nodded his head but then gave me a hurt look and turned away dramatically. "Aime just reminds me of this boy I used to like…"

"Oh! Is this story going to be scandalous? Is there deceit? Are there tears! Tell me more!" I moved to the seat next to him, practically drooling over the juicy story yet to be told. My love life was so dead, I absolutely had to hear about somebody else's.

"Well… He was one of the cutest boy in our school and I had a really big crush on him, but I never had the guts to ask him out."

I leaned even closer, practically panting at the ecstasy of such an exciting story. He looked a little unnerved. "Did you save him from rabid dogs? Did you kiss him against a fence but then he rejected you because of your gender? Did he fall off a cliff and you couldn't rescue him in time?"

"Um. No. He just didn't like me. And then he moved to Africa."

I stared dumbstruck. "How could that leave any kind of lasting impression on you at all? What significance did this boy play in your life? Why would Aime reminding you of him make you like Aime any more if you had absolutely nothing interesting to say about the boy in question?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. Actually, I don't think I completely followed what you just said, but that's ok. I should probably get home, too. I need to clean."

I couldn't believe how little life actually made sense and didn't even notice when Makaio left, nor did I even pay attention when the waitress gave me the bill. I just put a twenty on it and walked out of the diner, trying to make sense out of life. It was then that I realized I had just used up two weeks worth of allowance.

"Oh shit!" I hissed, stomping my foot on the ground and debating going back, but then deciding against it. I steamed for a minute, the sun now setting and the faint traces of the moon on the other horizon. Sometimes I was so stupid I embarrassed myself.

"You really can't waste money, you know. Tuna's been getting awfully expensive of late and you've been shirking your duties of pampering me," I heard from behind me.

Spinning around, practically squealing with shock, I gaped at Lunde as though he were some horribly disfigured alien when he was really just a slightly obese cat that could talk.

"I think you've had a bit too much tuna, fatty," I muttered to myself once my heart had stopped trying to leap from my chest in some dramatic attempt at suicide. Instead, not actually wanting Lunde to have heard my comment about his weight, I changed the topic loudly before he could question me. "So, what are you doing here? I thought this was your lounge time?"

Lunde looked around shiftily as though what I had just asked might've been a rather troublesome question to answer. "I was on my way somewhere. I didn't actually expect to run into you, but with your fat head, I guess I'm not going to be able to ditch you, am I?"

"Better believe it! This fat head is following you wherever you go now, whether you like it or not!" I answered tempestuously, becoming curious.

Lunde sighed. "I was headed to the Revolution to get my next mission briefing."

"The arcade? What the hell kind of headquarters is that?" I asked dubiously, wondering if he was pulling my leg. By that time, we had begun walking through more deserted alleyways, but all the hobos were asleep and everyone knows how much it takes to wake up a hobo (unless you're trying to steal his booze).

"A crappy one, I can tell you that. But one of the games has been tampered with to receive audio signals by another Fel agent. I'm actually not sure yet, but we've been corresponding with each other and formulating possible strategies and explanations for what has been happening. For now, he chooses to remain anonymous until we have found his Sailor Scout, and then we can really start to get to work," Lunde explain, pausing to breathe after his dismally long explanation, and then added, "It's typical protocol for Fel agents to wait for a brief period of time before exposing themselves to each other."

"You're taking orders from somebody you don't even know?" I questioned further, wondering what kind of protocol stipulated being so secretive.

"Oh, I probably know this agent, I even have a few suspicions. It has to be somebody good to have hi-jacked the gaming console and set up a Fel beacon before I even considered asking for help."

"Huh," I grunted, confused but acting as though every word he babbled made sense. Lunde sure loved to hear himself talk.

"And what about you?"

"What about me what? Huh?" I spewed, taken by surprise.

"What are you doing out here? Your parents are wondering where the hell you are. You're just lucky your grades have been improving, or they'd track you down and hang your head on a wall."

"Well…" I trailed off, recalling the bizarre afternoon. "We went to Ray's house and met his crazy uncle and then for some reason, Aime, Maka, and I went to a restaurant and bonded. It was so random! If this were some weird fanfiction, I'd say this entire afternoon was one big filler!" I laughed.

"What a thrilling life you lead," Lunde replied sarcastically, now approaching the arcade. "Unfortunately, I need to ask that you do not follow me inside. Something tells me you'd be a nuisance."

"Oh. Well… Ok…" I trailed off, not wanting to get in the way. Although, something made me uneasy that Lunde didn't want me to see him plan stuff when some of that stuff probably involved me.

"Keep out of trouble," Lunde instructed as he walked inside, tail swishing mysteriously. The door magically opened in front of him, which explained how he was able to get to places so quickly without opposable thumbs. Standing outside, I began to walk home, but then, as with most protagonists, curiosity got the better of me and I followed Lunde inside, being extra quiet and sneaky. Lunde was probably too busy being important to have considered that I would follow him anyway.

Hiding behind Ultimate Vehicular Homicide 3000, I watched as Lunde looked around to check if the coast was clear and approached the 'Sailor Venus: Ultra Action' video game. Pressing some buttons with his cute little paws, he waited for a second as a strange set of letters and numbers appeared on the screen, and then a blurry image of another cat face appeared on the screen.

"Fel 2476 answering the correspondence signal. Please enter the security password," a strange electronically modified voice spoke.

Lunde coughed with embarrassment as he uttered, "Twinkle toes…" to the strange computer person/cat thingy. It seemed to process for a second, and then spoke again.

"Have you gathered any more information on the Uprising?" it asked, sounding worried.

"Not yet, but there's been such an increase in demonic activity that I think our suspicions are confirmed. How are you and your agent doing? Today I located and awoke another Sailor Scout. Sailor Jupiter."

"Really? That means all of the Scouts are accounted for. My team is well, although I still have only found Sailor Venus. Any injuries on your part?"

"None. They're doing very well for so much inexperience. But I'm beginning to question Sailor Moon. Do you really think he can possibly be the one we're looking for? There must be a mistake."

I felt my face go red as I heard myself insulted through the foggy conversation between Lunde and the anonymous cat somewhere else in the city.

"If he truly is Sailor Moon, then he's the one we're looking for. I guess we'll find out when the Silver Crystal needs to be used."

"But if he isn't… you know… then won't he-?"

"That's not important. Anyway, enough about that. Can you believe the cats in this place? They're all a bunch of nipheads!" the voice pointed out conversationally.

"I know! And that gourmet catfood shit sucks! I remember when people used to give cats real food, not that MSG meat substitute crap."

Deciding that the conversation was going nowhere of interest, I left. I felt sort of mad that Lunde doubted me so much when I had been the first person to fight for him. Just because I was a little klutzy…

But then, I also wondered what they were talking about after that. What was the Silver Crystal? And what did they think I was? Feeling uneasy, I made my way home. I hated the days where it seemed like something was being hinted at, but I would never figure it out. It sucks to be me. And where the hell is Darren? Did he die or something?

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**A/N: Hello my darling Sydchan/fans! I'm sorry it took my so long to write this chapter, but I've been busy and haven't been feeling motivated, and when a writer like me tries to write while unmotivated, terrible things happen… Like the end of the world and all that jazz. Anyway! I just wanted to say that this chapter is exceptionally long, so hopefully that makes up for it. Also, I feel like there is a lot of filler here (as Seri pointed out to me) but it is somewhat necessary filler for later plot ideas. Hopefully the advancements I made between Maka and Aime weren't too surprising. This is a yaoi! Everyone has to end up with somebody. It's the law. Oh, and if you love this chapter and want me to keep posting, then give me an exciting review/comment and I'll make it worth your while! Catnip anyone? Internet catnip, that is. Come one… Be a niphead. It's fun…! Whatever, just review or I'll eat your eyeballs with a spoon. Kisses!**

**P.S. For those of you who have seen most of the Sailor Moon series, this chapter will probably make more sense to you than to those who haven't, but fret not, as all will be revealed! However, as Noir and Lunaria are two new original characters, you'll probably be confused no matter what. Suck on that, Sailor Whores! Stay tuned for the next episode of Sailor Male!!! 3**


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